Party On, Garth

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 9 USERS: B
Have A Drink On The Hardy Boys

...inventively named "Midwestern Brewing Company," where the comely manager, "Marie," graciously invites them in to chat with her father, "Jim," and Mr. McAnn's business partner, "Randy Baxter." And, after watching as Randy Baxter upbraids a dejected-looking twentysomething janitor over the latter's tardiness, Dapper Sammy and the despicable DJ Qualls peel away from Dapper El Deano and Marie McAnn to head into the brewery's main office, where it quickly becomes apparent even to the insufferable DJ Qualls that Mr. McAnn is in no condition to answer their questions.

Meanwhile, down amongst the fermentation tanks, Dapper El Deano learns via the gossipy Marie that a third partner in the company recently killed himself for reasons to be revealed later in the episode. "Your dad still feels bad about that?" Dapper El Deano prompts. "And it doesn't help that Dale's wife is suing us," Marie eyerolls. "Really?" Dapper El Deano squints. "Why?" "She's angry and grieving," Marie guesses, "and this is America." And while I'd certainly love to linger on this scene's sudden turn towards the trenchant social commentary, I'm sure, there's something that's been bothering me ever since Marie first appeared on screen: Her two younger brothers just had their intestines yanked out of their nostrils by some as-yet-unknown assailant, right? So, why is she so goddamned blasé about the whole thing? I mean, I'm already bored out of my skull by this tedious storyline, sure, but then again I'm just some schlub stuck watching it all by my lonesome at home. What the hell is her excuse?

Whatever. Don't care and never will, so let's head back up to the brewery's main office, shall we? Excellent. That Randy Baxter person has sent the distraught Mr. McAnn away and he now gifts us all with a round of expository blather that goes something like this: While he himself is childless, he treated "all four of Jim's kids" as if they were his own. He also confirms the third partner's suicide before sighing, "This is just a nightmare." Tell me about it. "First Dale," Randy Baxter continues, referring to the dead partner, "now this?" They're on the verge of selling their most prominent brand to "one of the largest distributors in the U.S.," you see and "given other circumstances," they'd be celebrating and why the fuck am I listening to some guy I've never seen before whine about a multimillion-dollar brewery acquisition deal on this show? You know, aside from the fact that that "one of the largest distributors in the U.S." is likely a fully-owned subsidiary of Richard Roman Enterprises, of course. God, The Leviathans are dull, with all of their financially competent machinations and scheming. Anyway, while all that was going on, Dapper Sammy happened to train his steely gaze upon an odd-looking box in a corner of the office -- a box covered by what appear to be Japanese characters, by the way -- but before we can find out what in Christ's name that's supposed to signify, we get booted over to...

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