Party On, Garth

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 9 USERS: B
Have A Drink On The Hardy Boys

And as I can no longer deal with this fucking scene, either, I'll simply note that Our Intrepid Heroes agree to split up, with Darling Sammy off to interview Dead Dale's angry widow while Dashing El Deano drags their most unwelcome guest over to Manse McAnn for a little follow-up, and are we done here? Good.

Manse McAnn. Now mind you, this sequence is taking place no more than a half-an-hour after Wee Tess and Big Daddy McAnn watched in gape-mouthed horror as That Freaky Chick From The Ring slaughtered Wee Tess's mother, so I have no idea why the place isn't swarming with Junction City police detectives wondering how Poor Dead Lillian managed to get herself mauled by a rabid wild animal in her own goddamned kitchen, let alone why the surviving adult McAnns haven't long since spirited Traumatized Tess away from the scene of her mother's grisly murder. But the idiots responsible for this trash apparently don't want any of us to think about any of that at the moment because we're instead meant to focus on tonight's nauseating "special" guest "star" as he whips a sock puppet out of his pants to coerce Traumatized Tess into giving them a statement. And no, I am not kidding with that and no, I just can't with the awful, evil, foul, wicked, nasty, disgusting, rancid mess of a scene that follows, so long story short: Traumatized Tess eventually tells them all about That Freaky Chick From The Ring, and next!

Dead Dale Estates. Darling Sammy, as promised, interviews The Angry Widow and learns that her dead husband's former partners "sold his company right out from under him." "It's not about money," she insists, referring to the lawsuit she's brought against Messrs. McAnn and Baxter while explaining that the brewery was her otherwise childless husband's "baby." "You sound pretty upset about it," Sam mildly observes. "I'm furious," The Angry Widow admits, "but then I think how Dale was." "What do you mean?" Our Intrepid Hero prompts, immense amounts of faux concern flooding his puppy-dog eyes. "His friends left him behind," she replies, "but you know what he said? 'I'm gonna send them a gift that shows I forgive them.'" Darling Sammy of course thinks to inquire as to the nature of that gift and looks appropriately intrigued when The Angry Widow confides, "A bottle of sake from one of his trips, in a gorgeous box with writing." "He was so careful with it," The Angry Widow remembers. "He wouldn't let me touch it." DUN!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP