Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 19 USERS: A+
Get Your Kicks On Route 666

A short time later, Dean, now free from the cuffs, bides his time until the entire department has left to answer the 911, and the next thing we know, he's shimmying down the building's fire escape from the roof to drop to the alleyway below. He's snagged one of the officers' gun belts, which he sports slung over one forearm, and pauses to yank his father's occult-filled day planner from the back of his jeans before jogging towards the street. How he fit that book down there along with all of that fine ass is beyond my powers of comprehension.

While all this is going on, Sam's busily cruising down Centennial Highway in the Impala. Alone. Yeah, real smart, there, Lawyer Boy. Dean rings Sam's cell from a payphone and congratulates his little brother on the fake 911. The two then pass along the relevant information we've already been privy to, with one additional detail: The "35-111" in the demonic day planner is actually a set of coordinates that should direct the boys to Dear Old Dad's current location. Part of Dad's "Marine Corps crap," you see. As they ponder the significance of Dear Old Dad skipping town without his demonic day planner, Sam suddenly gasps in surprise and slams on the brakes. The shot cuts to reveal he's plowing the Impala straight through Constance's spectral form. If you enjoyed this episode, do yourself a favor and do not go back and freeze-frame this moment, because the effects are pitiful. In any event, as the car passes through Constance, she disappears. Sam manages to skid to a stop a couple of hundred feet further down the road, but not without a couple of intercut shots of Dean shouting futilely into the payphone. Sam grinds to a halt and blinks, gasping for breath. The camera slowly passes across his huffing face to reveal a sullen- and resentful-looking Constance pouting in the back seat. She trains her gaze appropriately so that when she eventually demands, "Take me home," the first things Sam sees in the rearview mirror are her glowering eyes. Sam freaks right into the final commercial break.

Impala. Aftermath. Constance once again demands, "Take me home." Sam refuses, so Constance telekinetically locks both doors and assumes control of the vehicle. Sam tries and fails to wrest the steering wheel from her telekinetic grip, then tries and fails to open the door by slamming his upper body against it. Constance remains sullen yet calm throughout, though she does occasionally flicker in and out like that chick from The Ring. The happy couple eventually arrive at the decrepit Welch homestead, where Constance finally allows the car to pull to a stop so she might ply her wiles on poor, innocent Sam. But first, Sam gets to beg, "Don't do this." Constance, paying him no mind for the moment, gazes forlornly at her ruined house and whimpers, "I can never go home." Sam quickly groks the fact that it's not so much that she can't go home as it is she's afraid to go home, but before he can confront her with that realization, Constance disappears. Sam whips his head around to find her in the passenger seat beside him. She leaps on top of him, pinning him against the vinyl, and tries to get him to make out with her. Honey, I know it's been twenty-four years, but surely you're not that desperate. Why not wait for his hot older brother to arrive? Then again, we're talking about the ghost who went after that loser Troybert, so perhaps she's lacking in taste.

Sam resists mightily. "You can't kill me!" he protests. "I'm not unfaithful!" Constance's head shudders down to his ear and she whispers, "You will be." Kind of creepy, that. But mostly funny. Constance, soon tiring of Sam's chaste games, eventually gives up on the seduction portion of this evening's festivities and goes straight to the part where she rips out his heart. Constance blinks out, her face morphing into its current, maggot-eaten form at the last instant as she does so. Sam's soon wracked with pain, and shakily unzips his hooded sweatshirt to find five bloody holes piercing the t-shirt beneath into his chest. Ghoul Constance flickers in and out a few times, in the process making it clear those holes are being caused by her spectral fingernails. While Sam howls and wails, the driver's-side window suddenly erupts inward in a hail of glass and gunfire. Ghoul Constance pauses briefly to glare at the idiot who would try to shoot a ghost, and of course it's Dean, squeezing off round after round with his purloined handgun. Ghoul Constance, distracted by all of the bullets zipping harmlessly through her spectral form, relents long enough for Sam to turn on the ignition and throw the car into drive. "I'm taking you home!" he cries, and with that, he floors the Impala through the farmhouse's rotted façade to plow into the far wall of the living room. I must admit, that was pretty damn cool.

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