Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Check In To The Overlook Hotel

The three stagger into the grand dining room, and Susan collapses into a chair, shakily begging for a slug of whiskey. "I know the feeling," Captain Empathy assures her as he hustles to the bar to comply with her request. With stray tears still running down her cheeks, Susan demands of Dean, "What the hell happened out there?" Dean blinks. "You want the truth?" "Of course!" Susan insists. "Well, at first we thought it was some kind of hoodoo curse," Dean explains. "But that out there?" he continues, gesturing towards the windows. "That was definitely a spirit." "You're insane," Susan states, knocking back her just-arrived cocktail. "It's been said," Dean allows. Sam apologizes for the boys being so blunt about things, then asks when, exactly, Grandma Rose suffered her stroke. Sure enough, it was "about a month ago," right before the spate of unnatural deaths began at the inn. Our Intrepid Heroes bang their heads together and quickly realize Grandma Rose was using the five-spot hoodoo urns to ward off some sort of wicked entity, and the minute she was unable to do so, said entity -- and I think we all know it's Maggie, by now -- immediately began running roughshod over the inn and its numerous unwanted guests. Susan starts making baffled and outraged noises, but Sam cuts through the crap to lay it on the line: "You and your family are in danger, all right? So you need to clear everyone out of here -- your employees, your mother, your daughters, everyone." Susan gapes for a moment, then informs them she has only one child. Upon learning Maggie's "imaginary," Our Dear Boys shoot each other A Look Fraught With Significance before Sam urgently breathes, "Where's Tyler?"

Meanwhile, up in the garret, Grandma Rose practically vibrates with fear, and a few tears trickle out of her good eye before the camera leaps back from the close-up to reveal Maggie standing before her. "She's going to stay here with me," Maggie vows, "and you can't stop me." Rose works her mouth around futilely as Maggie stresses, "There's nothing you can do about it." Way to kick an old lady when she's down, girlie. "I'd comment," Raoul confesses, "but I'm too scared to look at the television screen at the moment. Do let me know when they've finally salted and burned the frightful little wretch's bones." Uh. In any event, Tyler arrives to scold Maggie for torturing poor Grandma, and wonders if she and Maggie can go have a tea party with poor Grandma's creepy-ass dolls. "We can have lots of tea parties," Maggie assures her while glancing back to torment old Rose some more. "Forever...and ever...and ever." Raoul! That last screencap is delightful! "I knew you'd enjoy it." The girls disappear into the hall, leaving Rose alone to tremble and weep. You can almost hear her screaming for help somewhere deep inside that immobile body of hers until the METAL TEETH CHOMP! arrives to drag her away. Getting old sucks.

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