Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Check In To The Overlook Hotel

Susan, Sam, and Dean burst through the door to the family's private quarters in search of Tyler, only to find all of the antique dolls in pieces on the floor. No, I don't know what all that's about, but I'm guessing they cut out a scene similar to the one in Interview With A Vampire where Claudia pitches a massive hissy over being trapped in a child's body forever and starts trashing her dolls, only in this version, of course, incorporeal Maggie has Tyler do all the dirty work for her. Then again, I could be totally wrong, and this is just some sort of bizarre fuck-up on the writer's part. In any event, in the midst of all the frenzied searching for Susan's daughter, the boys finally think to pump her for information on this Maggie person, and Susan eventually remembers that her mother had an older sister of that name who drowned in the pool. D'OH! "Come on," Dean growls, and the three race out of the room.

Over in the estate's absolutely glorious poolhouse -- seriously, the pool itself, along with the changing areas, is sort of sunk one story into the ground, with the aboveground balcony area atop it covered by a greenhouse canopy of glass, and where in the hell did the location scouts find this fantastic place, anyway? -- um. Where was I? Oh, yeah: Maggie's convinced Tyler to clamber over the balcony's railing and hang above the plastic-covered pool below with only her weak grip on the bar keeping her from certain doom. Tyler's a moron, yo. Long story short, Maggie attempts to talk Tyler into taking the plunge, knowing that Tyler can't swim. After Tyler also drowns in the pool, then, she and Maggie can keep each other company for all eternity on the grounds of the ancestral estate. Yeah, don't bother asking where Tyler's Reaper fits in as far as this grand scheme is concerned, because you won't be getting an answer. Whatever. I've found this episode doesn't hang together very well at all upon multiple viewings, and I've thus no desire to linger with it any longer than I have to. "I stopped paying attention to the details scenes ago," Raoul notes. "Pity, because it was an intriguing idea while it lasted." Which was what, ten minutes? "Significantly less." Raoul's heartless when he's disappointed. In any event, just when Maggie's almost convinced Tyler to take the swim that needs no towel, Our Intrepid Trio slam themselves against the upper balcony's outer glass doors to scream Tyler back from the edge, or something. Crafty Maggie's worked some mojo on the exits, incidentally, and the glass is now near shatterproof. No, don't ask for an explanation for that, either, because there isn't any coming. Crafty Maggie, annoyed by the appearance of Tyler's mother, knocks it off with the persuasion already and simply pushes Tyler into the pool below. Hee. Tyler immediately entangles herself in the plastic sheeting stretched across the water, and sinks to the bottom to drown. Susan and Dean, horrified, race to the back entrance while Action Sammy continues to ram against the glass with his cast. Finally realizing that metal is better for smashing things than plaster is, Sam hoists a nearby urn from its moorings and starts jamming the thing into the door. Meanwhile, Tyler's somehow managed to surface, but Crafty Maggie pushes her head back underwater. Elsewhere, Susan and El Deano reach the pool's back entrance, but Maggie's mojo keeps Dean from kicking the door down. Finally -- finally -- just as Tyler's abandoning her struggle, a disembodied girl's voice calls out for "Margaret," and Crafty Maggie, for whatever reason, dematerializes to, um, shoot up through that fantastic greenhouse canopy? We'll go with that, because I so do not care at this point.

The upshot of all that is that now, with Crafty Maggie gone, her mad door-blocking mojo's gone with her, so Action Sammy instantly smashes through the glass to vault over the balcony and into the pool. "That cast is going to reek once it dries!" Raoul shrieks. Dude, I thought you stopped paying attention. "I did," Raoul assures me, "but everyone knows one shouldn't pass up an opportunity to ogle a wet Jared Padalecki." Well! Indeed. In any event, everything grinds down into slow-motion, and I'm tempted to take a quick nap as Dean and Susan a-t l-o-n-g l-a-s-t make it through the back entrance while Action Sammy s-l-o-w-l-y retrieves the limp Tyler from the bottom of the pool. After a few "tense" moments, Tyler coughs up a lungful of chlorinated water, and great is the rejoicing when Tyler confirms that Maggie has left the building. I repeat: Maggie has left the building. "You're resorting to Elvis references?" Raoul sniffs. "You poor boy. Just cut to the end, already."

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