Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Check In To The Overlook Hotel

The camera lingers on the "Vacancy" sign for a moment before cross-fading to track through the inn's open front door. In the distance on the mantel, we can see that photograph of little Rose with Creole Marie, and for a very long time when this initially aired, I really believed they were going to pull a Shining at the end of this shot and have Maggie appear in the photograph along with her sister and the nanny. Doesn't happen. We simply linger on little Rose's face for a while until the shot cross-fades again to another low-angled track through the upper floor's hallway, and here I thought they'd pull a Shining by having raging torrents of blood explode into the corridor from the passageways beyond, but that doesn't happen, either. Sigh. "Don't ask too much of low-budget horror," Raoul sagely counsels. "If you do, there will be nothing but heartache waiting for you at the end." Speaking of heartache, the slow, low-angled tracking shot has finally arrived at its destination, and we watch the spirits of Rose and Maggie, both of them preadolescent for all eternity, merrily skipping rope together on the carpet in front of the dollhouse under the glassy -- yet watchful -- eyes of Rose's numerous porcelain antiques. WHICH WERE SMASHED TO BITS FIVE SCENES AGO. GOD! We linger with all the tiny terrors for a moment until the camera discreetly pulls back into the final blackout.

What the fuck did that mean? Oy.

Next week, there's some sort of demonic hostage situation in a bank. All I ask is that it make sense. Please, show. Please?

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