Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 2 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Check In To The Overlook Hotel

I agree wholeheartedly with that assessment, Raoul, but you must pardon me here, as I have to interrupt you to note that the girls' identical clothing is the first of many, many references to Stanley Kubrick's The Shining this evening, some as obvious as the costuming choice in this and subsequent scenes, and others as subtle as the passing mention of a relevant room number. I'll never catch all of them myself, so if you notice something I've missed in the recap, feel free to point it out in the "Pop Culture References" thread on the forum boards. More to Raoul's point, one of the little girls this evening is being played by Conchita Campbell, best known as Maya, the preternaturally calm precognitive returnee on The 4400, so we already know her character's going to be the source of some whacked-out shit over the course of the hour. Anyway, back to the scene: "He's gonna take our toys?" the non-Maya girl whines to the inn's owner. "Only the ones you don't play with anymore," the inn's owner reassuringly smiles back. Not Maya grimaces miserably, leading the inn's owner to shift her smile to a pleasantly teasing smirk before reminding the child, "It's not like you don't have enough already." As the owner begins descending to the main floor, Maya burns holes through the woman's skull with her scorching glare and mutters, "Son of a bitch." "Son of a bitch!" Not Maya instantly parrots, and the owner stops dead in her tracks to look up and chide, "Watch your mouth!" "Maggie said it first!" Not Maya protests. "Watch your mouth, too, Maggie," the owner grins, a little indulgently, before continuing down the stairs. The Mayas shoot each other A Look. "Eeeeeeeek!" shrieks Raoul at the identically attired little girls. "Nothing good will come of this, I assure you!" he predicts.

The camera cuts to pan down a couple of shelves stuffed with glassy-eyed antique porcelain dolls, including one Mortimer Snerd-esque atrocity that's so close to clown-like that Darling Sammy's certain to collapse into paroxysms of terror the instant he catches sight of the thing. Poor Sam. The camera jumps around to linger on dozens of similar dolls as Not Maya eases herself into the manor room devoted to their storage. She glances at the collection fondly before heading over to a massive dollhouse, which is apparently a fully detailed replica of the inn itself. She gathers up a handful of smaller, articulated dolls she'd earlier arranged on the house's front steps and positions them in various rooms. One -- a gent in an old-timey sailor's cap from the turn of the last century -- she places in a rocking chair on the dollhouse's second floor. We get a close-up of its face, and its features have been so worn down thanks to years of handling that it looks like a goddamned burn victim. Raoul frantically waves his paws around in the air, cringing at the sight. "If preadolescent girls are the most insidious form of evil on the face of the planet," he insists, "then their horrible dolls come in a close second!" Not Maya busies herself putting a number of the other poppets to bed before returning to the burn victim in the rocking chair. One problem: He's not there anymore. Not Maya searches the dollhouse's other rooms for him until she finally finds him in a heap at the bottom of the main stairs. She picks him up to discover his head's been twisted all the way around. DUN!

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