Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Shoot Rainbows Out Of Their Ass
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE THEN! And while it does provide us with a brief reminder of Dashing El Deano's recent clothing-optional run-in with the Amazons, the bulk of this evening's THEN! is devoted to a central plot point from this second-season episode, for reasons which will become readily apparent once we've blundered our collective way through the...

...Rattle, Rattle STILL NOT GIVING A SHIT NOW! Darling Sammy, his normally pleasant features contorted into a rictus of sheer panic and despair, bursts through the oily drip-drip-dripping of tonight's NOW! to race across a rain-dampened nighttime parking lot and crouch behind an SUV. Practically hyperventilating with terror, he pants, "It's okay! They can't hurt you!" before changing his obviously fear-addled mind and deciding, "They can hurt you!" The editing then gets a little jumpy as he tries to talk himself down, and he repeats the phrase, "If it bleeds, you can kill it!" a couple of times before steeling his wobbly resolve and pushing himself up to peer across the car's hood to find...a green-haired John Wayne Gacy clown loitering at the far end of the lot! DUN! The camera leaps over for a horrifying close-up of The Green-Haired Gacy's filthy, rotting teeth as the thing unhinges its lower jaw to chortle wickedly in Darling Sammy's general direction, and Our Desperately Coulrophobic Hero wastes not an instant tearing off in the other direction, with The Green-Haired Gacy hot on his remarkably healthy heels.

Darling Sammy first runs smack up against a high chain-link fence he wisely decides not to scale before ending up at the creaky wooden door of a little-used auto repair shop. He promptly boots his way into the place and somehow manages to barricade the flimsy entrance just as the high-stepping Gacy arrives to hurl itself, loudly and repeatedly, against the wall until it manages to break in. Frenzied Sammy makes to hustle himself to the opposite side of the shop, but alas! Another green-haired Gacy clown has materialized to block Sam's path to safety, and this second Green-Haired Gacy shudder-zips up to push its foul, giggling face into the camera until everything gets obliterated by this evening's...

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