Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Shoot Rainbows Out Of Their Ass

...The Sedgwick County Coroner's Office, where the obliging attendant is just now drawing back the sheet on a morbidly obese corpse whose torso and face are puckered with a series of vivid suction marks. "You're saying an octopus did this?" Sam eyebrows. Not just any octopus, the obliging attendant informs them, but a "giant Pacific octopus." Naturally, as giant Pacific octopi tend to be quite rare out in the Plain states, the obliging attendant and his colleagues are convinced the morbidly obese gentleman actually died as a result of some "freak fetish attack" wherein the killer or killers first dotted their victim with those vivid suction marks before bleeding the gentleman out through that massive, ragged hole in the corpse's neck. Our Intrepid Heroes go, "Hmmm!" then retire to the hallway for a processing summit, during which they briefly consider the extremely unlikely possibility that they're dealing with a devious "octovamp," here, before deciding to interrogate the corpse's widow.

Which they proceed to do in the very next scene, and long story short, Widow Fatty doesn't have much to tell them, aside from hinting broadly at the fact that she's convinced her late, unlamented husband was having an affair with their daughter's nanny, so Our Intrepid Heroes decide to split up for the next phase of their investigation, with Dashing El Deano skipping off to interview the "naughty nanny" in question while Darling Sammy remains behind at Chez Fatty to see if the widow starts acting suspicious.

We immediately hop on over to the exceptionally attractive nanny's tastefully-appointed apartment, and as the conversation that follows amounts to little more than a chatty exposition dump, let's get through it quickly: Fatty's preadolescent daughter, glimpsed briefly during the previous scene, recently held a birthday party at the titular Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie, which is apparently some sort of local pizza joint "for lazy parents" modeled upon the near-ubiquitous Chuck E. Cheese's chain of nightmares and tears. Unfortunately for little "Kelly," Fatty and his wife pretty much blew the entire party off, leading one of Kelly's so-called friends to claim that "her folks didn't really love her." Naturally, this sent poor little Kelly into a shrieking shame spiral from which she did not emerge for several hours, during which the nanny noticed nothing unusual back at Chez Fatty. Well, except for one little thing, of course: Poor little Kelly grew especially afraid of her bedroom closet that evening, because she was convinced "a monster" had decided to take up residence in the thing. Dashing El Deano goes, "Hmmm!" and darts out to...

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