Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Shoot Rainbows Out Of Their Ass

...the street, where he quickly dials Darling Sammy's cell to announce, "We talked to the wrong person." "Forget the mom," he continues. "Talk to the daughter -- she's mad at her dad for ditching her birthday." "So, what do you think?" Sam wonders by way of reply. "A birthday wish gone wrong? Something like that?" Dean hasn't a clue, but as Poor Little Kelly represents their only lead at the moment, Sam has little choice but to hang up and head back to Chez Fatty, where he finds Poor Little Kelly scrawling on the sidewalk with a piece of chalk. "My mom will get mad if I talk to you," Poor Little Kelly almost instantly pouts. "How come?" Sam gently prompts, furrowing his mighty brow with immense amounts of false concern. "Because of what I told the police," Poor Little Kelly blurts out despite herself. "I told them that I tried to warn my [worthless bastard of a so-called father] -- that the monster would get [that fat sack of bloated crap]!" Widow Fatty chooses this very moment to call her wayward and resentful daughter back into the house, leaving Sam alone out on the sidewalk to examine the picture Poor Little Kelly had been so busily drawing on the cement, and wouldn't you know it? It's an image of a massive, nine-armed, scowling octopus baring a mouthful of pointy teeth. DUN!

That evening, a balding, flush-faced, middle-aged gentleman clad in little more than his pajamas and a robe races through a dew-slicked field, pursued by what initially appears to be a white horse. This evening's next bit of Monster Chow -- spoiler! -- vaults a wooden fence to land in what seems to be a high school's baseball field, then cowers, panting, with his back against the boards until...a gold-tinted spike rams its way straight through his chest! "GORE!" I scream to myself in a feeble imitation of my missing Raoul as a small circle of blood seeps out from the gentleman's sucking chest wound to stain his pajamas, and it's just not the same. Where the hell is he? In any event, after a very long moment during which the soon-to-be-dead gent gasps and chokes and gags while flailing his arms around uselessly in the air, the gold-tinted spike slowly slides back from whence it came, allowing the now-definitely-dead gent to keel over face-first into the damp outfield grass. The camera focuses in on the gent's rapidly-cooling corpse for a beat or two, then rises to vault the grue-streaked wooden fence to land on the dead gent's attacker,'s a unicorn. A unicorn that proceeds to shoot rainbows outta its ass as it gallops off to vanish into the depths of this evening's first METAL TEETH CHOMP! And even though this episode initially aired a few days ago, I still don't quite know how I feel about that particular sight gag, so let's keep this recap moving, shall we? Excellent.

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