Reading Is Fundamental

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 5 USERS: A-
Battle Hymn of the Hardy Boys

Warehouse. Dashing El Deano rises from his own little floor nap to find Darling Sammy already deploying his mad Googling skillz on the laptop at the table, all the while listening to a radio report detailing the aftereffects of last night's "continent-wide storm system that appeared seemingly out of nowhere" to blanket "a good part of the nation in freak lightning displays." As the anonymous reporter details power outages stretching from Cape Cod in the east all the way back to the Cascades in the west, Dean slumps over to the abandoned warehouse's still-working sink to splash some water on his face, and he's about to say something to Sam when a battered tin cup resting on a nearby shelf rattles a couple of inches to the left. "Bobby?" Dean calls out. "Is that you?" "Think so," Sam opines, holding up his trusty little EMF reader, which obligingly offers us all a mighty "VWEEEE-YORP!" before falling back into silence. "But that whole adventure at Roman's seems to have drained his batteries," Sam notes, thereby confirming the fact that Jim Beaver will not be appearing in tonight's episode. And with that bit of business thus so efficiently taken care of, the boys get to chatting about the "heavyweight signs and omens" that erupted after Dashing El Deano chopped open the Leviathan's chunk of prehistoric clay the previous evening. Seems that in addition to the continent-wide electrical storm, "every maternity ward within a hundred-mile radius" of South Chicago "got slammed" when "every woman in the last month of her pregnancy went into labor." Fun! Also, despite Darling Sammy's best efforts, he's not been able to find a match for the script so intricately carved on that black rock of theirs, so Our Intrepid Heroes decide to hole up in Dead Rufus's ridiculously scenic rustic homestead deep within the lush coastal rainforests of Montana's Rocky Mountains until they can figure out how to decipher the thing.

Just then, however, Darling Sammy's cell rings. "What?" he snaps after eying the caller ID. "What up, Bullwinkle?" Meg smiles on the other end of the line. "Just a little FYI call," she continues, adding, "Your boy's awake." Sam immediately switches over to speakerphone so Dean might demand, "When?" "Last night about eight," Meg replies. "And you waited 'til now to tell us?" Dean howls. "I've been busy," Meg shrugs, all nonchalant and such. "He's just a tad different than when he dozed off," she warns, referring of course to My Sweet Baboo. "What do you mean?" Dean asks. "Guess what?" Meg smirks, preparing to get all meta on our collective ass. "I'm not a nurse -- just playing one on TV." She ends the call with a curt, "You want answers? Start driving!" and with that, Our Intrepid Heroes prepare to pack for the quick hop across the state line.

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