Reading Is Fundamental

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 5 USERS: A-
Battle Hymn of the Hardy Boys

Somewhere else, a jittery Kevin Tran speeds through the night in the car he apparently stole from his parents, freaking out over the random flashes he keeps receiving of Our Intrepid Heroes' intricately-carved rock until Vaguely Insulting Overachieving Asian-American Stereotype: Female Version calls to wonder what gives. Addled Kevin replies with a series of apparent non-answers that basically boil down to "I'm on a mission from God!" before hanging up to hang a right into this evening's first CHOMP!-less commercial break. Or, you know, onto the westbound lanes of U.S. Route 30. Your choice.

Funny Farm. Our Intrepid Heroes arrive to have Meg escort them into My Sweet Baboo's room, where they find the recently-awakened angel standing at the window, staring out into the night while sporting his signature beige trench coat over his nuthouse-issued pajamas. "Hey!" Dashing El Deano awkwardly opens. Castiel returns the greeting with an uncanny sense of serenity, after which he points a finger in Dean's direction. "Pull my finger," My Sweet Baboo suggests, a slight smile passing across his exceptionally pretty face. "Um. What?" Dean more or less replies. "My finger," Castiel prompts. "Pull it." Dean hesitates, shooting a couple of wary side-eyes at Sam and Meg as he does so, but he eventually complies. Instantly, the overhead fluorescents shatter and crash to the linoleum, plunging the room into darkness. Heh. My Delightfully Devious Baboo giggles while Sam and Dean gape and goggle at him for a very long period of time, after which we...

...jump forward a bit to find out What's Up With Castiel. "So," Sam begins, "you're saying you remember who you are?" "Of course," Castiel replies before veering off on an overly-earnest and wide-eyed tangent like so: "Outside today? In the garden? I followed a honeybee." Dean frowns as Castiel continues, amazed, "I saw the route of flowers! It's all right there -- the whole plan! There's nothing to add!" "You might want to add a little Thorazine," Sam deadpans. Heh. "I know, right?" Meg agrees, adding, "He's been like the naked guy at the rave ever since he woke up." My Whacked-Out Baboo zonks something about Meg's delightfully gorgeous "thorny pain" for a bit, and the two banter with each other until Darling Sammy calls them both back to the issue at hand by presenting Castiel with that intricately-carved rock of theirs. My Instantly Understanding Baboo's all, "A-ha! If someone was going to free The Word from the vault of the earth, it would end up being you two!" "I love you guys!" Castiel kvells, and he lugs them into a tight hug for a moment until Sam finally manages to break away and wonder, "You said something about 'The Word'? Is that what's written on there?" "Did you know a cat's penis is sharply barbed along the shaft?" Castiel non-sequiturs by way of reply before leaning in to confide, "I know for a fact the females were not consulted about that!" This naturally freaks Our Intrepid Heroes right the hell out, and as they shudder quietly to themselves, Castiel examines the intricately-carved rock's fussy script to realize, "This is the handwriting of Metatron!" Dimwit Sammy momentarily confuses God's official celestial scribe with some piece-of-crap children's toy until the conversation somehow wanders its way back to its point, which is this: Castiel can't read Metatron's handwriting, as "it wasn't meant for angels." Meg lunges for the intricately-carved stone for a little look-see of her own, and this leads to a tussle with Dean over the thing that ends when a freshly conflict-averse Castiel flutters the hell on out of there, allowing the intricately-carved stone to drop to the floor, where it promptly shatters into three pieces. D'OH!

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