First Born

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: A- | 144 USERS: A
This Hardy Boy is a Marked Man

"You know, even if that blade is real, it ain't worth being bosom buddies with the King of Hell," Tara says. "Abaddon is way worse," Dean swears. Is she really? We've seen so little of her that the threat just doesn't seem terribly pressing. "I'll deal with Crowley after," he says. "You sound just like your dad when he said he'd call me," she says. They stand there stewing in the juices of awkwardness until Crowley pops back in with a little bronze dish of kraken cracklins.

Tara mixes up all the ingredients, then pours them over a map of the contiguous United States. I like how they don't even bother considering that this thing might be in, like, Nigeria or Wales, or even Alaska or Hawaii. As Dean lights the map on fire, everything burns away but Missouri. "Would you care to join us?" Crowley asks. "Him, anytime," she says, nodding at Dean. "You? Never." Crowley smirks, because it's not like he actually expected her to take him up on the invite.

Somehow, Dean and his plus-one have narrowed down all of Missouri to a quaint little farmhouse near the edge of a misty forest. As they get out of the car, Crowley suddenly looks like his intestines have filled with ice. "I feel something dark," he says, grabbing onto Dean's arm. "What, darker than you?" Dean scoffs. Crowley quakes as a man in a beekeeper's protective suit. How is this guy afraid of being stung by bees? "We need to leave here now," Crowley says, all but pulling at Dean's shirtsleeves like a frightened child. "What, are you allergic to bees?" Dean says with snark. "That's not a beekeeper – that's the father of murder," Crowley says. He explains it's Cain, from "Cain and Abel" fame. Crowley turns to head back to the Impala, but suddenly Cain is standing in his way. "You're not going anywhere, Crowley," Cain says, lifting up his protective veil. It's the bearded demon-killer from the teaser. Drums add a dramatic note of punctuation to see us off to the commercials.

When we return, Crowley and Dean have been seated in the farmhouse's cozy living room. A toasty fire burns in the hearth. The stained glass in the windows feature scenes from an apiary. Dean notices that Crowley is fidgeting. "Why don't you just zap out of here?" he asks. "I'd never leave my domestic partner in crime," Crowley says. He admits he can't leave, and it's Cain's doing. Cain is off somewhere, and Dean and Crowley are just sitting around waiting, which just seems like a waste of time. So they sit and exposit, which the show is just super in love with, and we learn that Cain became a demon after he killed his brother. "He killed thousands – the best at being the worst," Crowley says. "And then he just... disappeared." For some reason, Cain has a case of bees right there in his living room.

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