Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 2 USERS: C
Aunt Gertrude Gropes The Hardy Boys
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rattle, Rattle THEN! We're back to killing some evil sons of bitches and raising a little hell this week, apparently, though to be completely honest with you, Dashing El Deano's introduction to this evening's festivities has been Frankenedited together from bits of last season's call to arms and this season's dueling options, so maybe we should be taking that as a hint that tonight's installment is just going to be one big, lurching, ineptly cobbled together assault against God and nature. In any event, we were introduced, as you'll recall, to Bela Talbot and her hideously bad wig a few episodes ago, and quickly found her to be an aggravatingly posh annoyance, partly because of That Accent Of Hers, but mainly because she shot Darling Sammy in one of his remarkably broad and heretofore healthy shoulders, for which she must die. Also, Desperate El Deano sold his soul to The Crossroads Demonette in exchange for his brother's life, and promptly turned into a raging dicksmack of epic proportions. Finally, Darling Sammy summoned that demonette to a crossroads of his own choosing in order to force her to release his suddenly and unreasonably irritating brother from the latter's demonic obligations. And when she refused? He shot her in the face! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon howls, flailing himself into a frenzy of delight over the chance to witness such awesomeness once more, and Raoul, you know I love you, but you really need to shut the fuck up for the...

...Silence, Silence NOW! An athletic and scantily clad brunette jogs down a veddy upscale nighttime harbor esplanade and bends to avail herself of a water fountain at the end of the path just as thunder rumbles ominously overhead. Wiping at her mouth, the brunette lifts her head to find a ragged-looking clipper ship creaking through the suddenly appearing fog at the harbor's mouth as lightning flashes around its triple masts. DUN! After a few more lightning strikes, the ship vanishes just as quickly and mysteriously as it had appeared, and the brunette, who is apparently too stupid to realize she should be pitching a massive freak-out hissy at the moment, blandly replaces her iPod's buds in her ears and jogs back the way she came.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP