Remember the Titans

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 23 USERS: A-

Or the show could have left goddesses out of it entirely, and chosen Heracles, since that would fit in nicely with existing stories about him rescuing Prometheus. Heracles even had quite the eye (and other organs) for attractive and heroic men, so there would be no need to ditch the romance angle. Heracles and Prometheus having a tryst would make more sense than Artemis and Prometheus. At least Heracles wasn't an adamant virgin! Then again, given this show's history with depicting same-sex attraction, it's probably just as well they didn't go that route. Dean's resulting gay panic probably would have had him speeding away from the scene like the Road Runner, leaving only a Dean-shaped cloud of dust in his wake.

Now, where were we? Oh right -- the show we actually got. The World's Most Interesting Man is talking up the fun aspects of being immortal, like how dying can't keep you down for long. "It's just like taking a little nap," he says to Oliver. His hands crackle with lightning as he prepares to zap the boy into his daily nap. Prometheus, gravely injured for the time being, lies helplessly on the ground. "This has to stop, Father," Artemis says behind them. At last, she has her trademark bow and arrow, and she's trained them on Zeus. "I'm only just getting started," Zeus says, brushing crumbs of scenery from his beard. "I'm doing this for our kind," he goes on. He points to Prometheus and says, "He is the reason we're here, and not ruling the world. He is the reason they have forgotten all about us!" That... doesn't make sense. Sure, people have fire now, and iPods and underarm deodorant and other wonderful inventions of the modern age. But they're always looking for someone to worship. If Oprah can do it without lightning hands and immortality, then what are the gods' excuses? What's stopping them from retaking their lofty position with the Judeo-Christian god on walkabout? And anyway, if people had really forgotten about the Greek gods, I wouldn't be here right now, nitpicking about which of them really don't belong in this episode.

"Let them go -- all of them," Artemis says. Zeus isn't down with that, so Artemis looses an arrow at him. Zeus pulls Prometheus off the floor with threads of lightning from his fingers, using him as a shield. The arrow pierces Prometheus's chest and crackles with energy. "I never get tired of watching you die," Zeus whispers in Prometheus's ear. "Your boy is going on the mountain." Determined to save his son, Prometheus takes a deep breath and grabs the arrow. He shoves it the rest of the way through his body and into Zeus. He's kind of a badass, and it's a pity he's being wasted on this one-off episode. Zeus wails in agony as lightning encircles him. He falls to the floor with Prometheus stilled pinned to him like a tail on a paper donkey. He dies rather easily, considering he was pretty much the "it" god of old. At the very least, he should exploded and taken out a few city blocks with him, don't you think?

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