Remember the Titans

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 23 USERS: A-

Thankfully, they cut out the part where they explain everything to her and pick up with the aftermath. "You have to realize this sounds crazy," she says. For some reason, they're having this conversation in the library instead of waiting at Oliver's bedside for him to come back to life. "The faster you wrap your brain around this, the faster we can solve the problem," Dean says. Speaking of the problem, are they even safe at the Lair O' Letters? It's warded against evil, but is Zeus technically evil? He's an asshole, to be sure, but whose moral code are they going by? For that matter, is Artemis evil? Sam and Dean plot to summon Zeus and either convince him to lift the curse, or kill him. Haley's still not quite on Team Believers yet, and excuses herself to go tend to Oliver.

Sam, Dean and Prometheus pore over the books while the soundtrack goes off and does its own thing. It sounds like some old-school Depeche Mode bass line or something with, like, an electronic banshee howling in the background. Dean suddenly pipes up with, "Dragon penis!" Sam and Prometheus are like, "Buh?" Dean explains that there was a hunter in Ancient Greece named Drakopoolos (that's what my CC says), which translates to "dragon penis." I'll take the show's word for it, because after struggling through last week's bestiality fest, I don't think I could handle what the Internet would show me if I were to look that up. Haley rejoins them just in time to hear Dean exposit about how Mr. Dragon Penis fought Zeus back in the day. The Men of Letters, he says, translated his journal. Dean very proudly announces to everyone in the room that he and Sam belong to this hush-hush secret society. Sam goes on to read that Mr. Dragon Penis summoned Zeus and figured out he could kill him with wood from a tree struck by lightning. He apparently didn't actually use this knowledge to kill Zeus, or maybe he tried and just failed, because scorched wood seems like kind of a lame way to kill a major god like Zeus.

They'll also need bones from a worshiper and some fulgurite. Luckily, there are pagans living nearby for the former and new age crystal shops for the latter. Of course, Dean only finds out about the fulgurite from Haley because he was dumb enough to think it was some super rare mineral they were going to have to steal. If dying so often caused Prometheus to lose his memory, can we assume the same for Dean? Because damn.

Prometheus and Sam head over to a local cemetery to dig up a pagan worshiper. Sam very generously assists in the digging. If it were me, I'd be like, "Get to work, Titan!" "Why are you doing this?" Prometheus asks. He wonders why Sam would risk his life to help. "Why did you risk yours to steal that fire?" Sam asks. If he's hoping Prometheus will recognize the parallels, he's out of luck, because the guy still doesn't remember. Sam tells him it was worth it. "You pretty much saved the whole world." Why doesn't anyone in the episode float the idea that the fire was a metaphor? I mean, fire exists in the natural world. You don't need gods for that. Bringing fire to people is a metaphor for knowledge, but they're treating it literally. Prometheus remains modest. "None of that means anything unless I can save my son."

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