Repo Man

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 5 USERS: A-
The Life Of A Hardy Boy Is Always Intense

...Hapless Jeffrey's current location, which is a halfway house for recently-released psychiatric patients, because Stupid Jeffrey failed to follow Dashing El Deano's sage advice all those many years ago and actually told people about his weeks-long romp with a dark demonic force sent from the flaming maw of Hell. I'm guessing. I mean, I'm totally right about all of that, but Stupid Jeffrey himself doesn't get around to confirming it for another couple of scenes. In any event, we listen in on Stupid Jeffrey's dull group-therapy session for a little bit, after which we follow along as he heads on over to...

..."THE IDAHO REGIONAL ANIMAL SHELTER," and hang on a second: They've got one animal shelter for the entire Idaho region? They must be slaughtering hundreds of mutts every single day in that place. In any event, the camera catches up with Stupid Jeffrey just as he's leaving the charnel house with one shaggy mutt who somehow managed to escape the executioner's axe. They still euthanize unwanted puppies by chopping off their heads, right? Anyway, Stupid Jeffrey's new doggie friend has one of those plastic cones wrapped around its furry neck for whatever reason, and Stupid Jeffrey coos and croons at the thing for several very long seconds before limping off down the sidewalk. Suddenly, Stupid Jeffrey's Spidey-sense starts a-tingling, and he foolishly makes his way down an apparently deserted alleyway until...a knife-wielding miscreant hauls him into this evening's first METAL TEETH CHOMP! DUN!

Oh, sorry -- my bad. That wasn't really a DUN! at all, because the knife-wielding miscreant was actually Dashing El Deano himself, as we learn the instant we return from that commercial break. Our Intrepid Heroes, you see, ambushed Stupid Jeffrey with a flask of holy water and The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't on the off chance Stupid Jeffrey had been repossessed by tonight's anonymous pre-credits demon. "Just had to make sure," Dashing El Deano weakly apologizes once he and Darling Sammy have determined that Stupid Jeffrey's completely harmless. "Make sure of what?" Stupid Jeffrey retorts. "That I peed my pants today?" Okay, that was kind of funny. The boys apologize some more, and eventually, they head back to...

...Stupid Jeffrey's tastefully-appointed suite at the halfway house to indulge in yet another round of tedious expository blather that's initially leavened by Lucifer's sardonic presence on the arm of Stupid Jeffrey's sofa. Unfortunately, Darling Sammy almost immediately presses his thumb against his palm, so Lucifer has little choice but to beat a hasty and pouty retreat and, during the chatter that follows, we learn that tonight's anonymous pre-credits demon evidently kept a list of the names of the Coeur d'Alene-area women he intended to kill. "He already had his victims chosen?" Sam's sideburns squint, deeply puzzled indeed. "And put in a line, in order," Stupid Jeffrey confirms. "But why?" Dean wonders, even more puzzled than his brother's utterly asinine and ever-expanding muttonchops. "Demons aren't usually into the obsessive serial-killer crap," Dean continues before going on to ask, "Why would he do this?" "He said it was his job," Stupid Jeffrey solemnly intones, and before the assembled idiots can get to talking about that, Stupid Jeffrey's called to his door for a brief and unimportant confab with the halfway house's unusually chipper superintendent. And after that's all over and done with, Darling Sammy rises to announce he'll be tracking down the next woman on Stupid Jeffrey's list -- a librarian named "Marjorie Willis" -- while Dashing El Deano remains with Stupid Jeffrey "just in case." Because nothing bad ever happens to Our Intrepid Heroes when they split up. Ever.

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