Road Trip

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 156 USERS: A
"The Poor, Giant Baby is in Trouble Again"

Castiel starts thinking about ways to get Sam to cast out the intruding angel. Dean says Sam has no idea he's even being possessed. How do they clue him in? "Do you remember Alfie?" Castiel asks. "Yeah, he was that adorable angel that you totally killed," Dean doesn't say. "Before he died, he told me the demons were able to dig into his mind and access his coding," Castiel says. Either he or the writers don't remember him killing Alfie, because there doesn't even seem to be a subtext of regret. Castiel thinks they could do something similar here in order to talk to Sam. "Where do we start?" wonders Dean.

They start with Crowley, who is still stashed away in the torture dungeon. Dean offers him up a syringe of hot, fresh human blood – his own – in exchange for telling them how to tinker with an angel's noggin. Crowley doesn't seem the least bit tempted. "What do you want?" Castiel asks. "To start, a massage," Crowley says. "I ain't rubbin' you," Dean says. Seriously? To save his brother's life he wouldn't give Crowley a little shoulder rub? He should be offering up the deluxe shiatsu, complete with Happy Ending. Luckily for him, Crowley seems just as turned off by the idea as he does. "Get Kevin," Crowley says. "His tiny fists can really work wonders –" Castiel cuts him off: "Kevin is dead." This gives Crowley pause. He says he's sorry to hear it, and seems relatively sincere. "I told him this was gonna happen...I told him to run," he says. "From what?" Dean asks. "From you," Crowley says. "How many times am I gonna say this? People in your general vicinity don't have much in the way of a lifespan." True, but most of them come back to life at least once! That's gotta count for something. Crowley says he can't just tell them what they need to know, but offers to perform his magic on the angel himself. "All I ask for in return is a little field trip," he says. Dean is quick to refuse, although not quite as quick as when he thought he was going to have to knead Crowley's naked body liked warm, oiled bread dough.

He starts to walk away, but knows he doesn't have much in the way of options. He reconsiders Crowley's deal. Castiel tries to talk him out of it. "Looks like we need a tiebreaker," Crowley says. "Squirrel, go get Moose." Dean just looks at him and lets his silent expression of soul-crushing guilt do all the talking. Now Crowley realizes why they were desperate enough to come to him. He can't help but gloat just a little: "The poor, giant baby is in trouble again, isn't he?" And just like that, the show has a new tagline. Dean agrees to give Crowley what he wants. "When do we leave?" Crowley asks. "As soon as I can scratch up a ride," Dean says. Dude, you have a garage full of ridiculously beautiful cars. For no reason at all, those cars are not an option. Actually, the reason is so that Castiel can volunteer the car he stole to get there, and which ran out of gas a few miles down the road.

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