Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 5 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Realize Hope Floats

ANY-way, sitting next to him in the driver's seat is Tricia Helfer from the aforementioned Battlestar Galactica, who rolls her eyes and groans, "We're lost." "This is a shortcut," Kevin Buchanan From One Live To Live insists. "Babe," Tricia Helfer From Battlestar Galactica wearily condescends, "we've been on this road over an hour, and we haven't seen a single car." "Molly," Kevin Buchanan From One Live To Live testily begins, thereby gifting Tricia Helfer From Battlestar Galactica with a proper name for this evening's festivities before continuing, "I know how to read a frigging map, okay?" Molly sighs and suggests they turn around to head back to the gas station they passed forty miles ago to ask for directions, and the conversation devolves into one of those "men never ask for directions" things when Kevin Buchanan From One Live To Live refuses, insisting that they're on "Highway 99." Molly quickly proves him wrong as she angles the car past a marker for Route 41. Ooops. "Highway 99, huh?" she sighs. "So we're taking the scenic route," Kevin Buchanan From One Live To Live attempts to joke with a bit of an embarrassed chuckle. "David," Molly groans, thereby gifting Kevin Buchanan From One Live To Live with his proper name for this evening's festivities before continuing to exposit, "it's our anniversary, and we're spending it stuck in the car." Well, that's what you get for marrying a bastard named Dave, doll: A lifetime of annoyance and regret. "Perhaps not that long, Demian, darling!" Raoul titters. Shhhhh! Spoiler! "Hee! Ooops!"

In any event, Dave smears on the charm by way of apology, and he and Molly quickly get all giggly and schmoopy as she continues to maneuver the car along this treacherous and slick stretch of rural highway, and soon enough, what you've been expecting to happen actually does. The instant Molly takes her eyes off the road to playfully bat her husband back over to his side of the front seat, David catches sight of the trucker-capped redneck who's suddenly appeared in the car's headlights, and he shouts out a frantic warning. Molly screams and yanks the wheel to the left while slamming onto the brakes, but it's all for naught as the now-locked tires skid straight across the icy asphalt to send the car hurtling over the embankment at the side of the road. The car plows down a hillside, rapidly picking up speed until its front end crashes into a tree. We get a brief glimpse from behind of Molly and David flying forward into the windshield before a cacophony of splintering glass and crumpling metal smacks us into a blackout.

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