Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 5 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Realize Hope Floats

Unfortunately for everyone involved, the radio chooses to respond to this by squealing on of its own accord and tuning itself to a station that just happens to be playing "The House Of The Rising Sun." Our Intrepid Heroes shoot Looks Fraught With Significance at each other before Dean demands, "Did you...?" "No," Sam curtly replies, warily eyeing the radio like it's about to leap out of its jury-rigged mounting and tear chunks out of their throats. "That would be delightful!" shrieks Raoul. Keep dreaming, my friend. For her part, Molly leans forward into the front seat with a stricken expression on her face. "This song," she breathes disbelievingly. "It was playing when we crashed." Dean hilariously rolls his eyes around, all, "Oh, fucking hell! while Sam just goggles. Heh. Just then, the radio decides to retune itself far up the dial, and when it settles somewhere around 106.66 KISS-FM -- because you know all of the radio stations in Hell are owned by Clear Channel -- the signal descends into a haze of EVP before a man's voice breaks through it all to claim, "She's mine, she's mine, she's MINE!" "What is that?" Molly mewls, practically vomiting with fear. Before either of the boys can answer, however, the grisly old coot snaps into view on the roadway ahead. Dean, his eyes widening a bit, makes a split-second decision and orders the others to hold on as he flattens the Impala's gas pedal against the floorboard. "What are you doing?" Molly howls as Sam braces himself for impact and the Impala leaps forward with ever-increasing amounts of speed. Dean plows Metallicar's front end through the fiendish redneck, and in a pretty nice effect, the old coot's form instantly dissolves into a black cloud that swirls around in the roiling air currents left in the Impala's wake for a moment before it dissipates and disappears completely. "What the hell just happened?" Molly gasps, whipping her head around to confirm that the grisly old coot did indeed vanish into thin air behind them. "Everything's going to be all right," Sam hastens to assure her. Alas, Metallicar decides now's the perfect opportunity to expose Sam as the LYING LIAR WHO LIES that he truly is, and it allows its engine to knock around for a little bit before finally letting it die. Dean wheels the Impala over onto yet another snowy shoulder of the road, and tries and fails to turn the engine over. After a bit of this, he accepts defeat and slumps back in his seat. Looking a little panicked himself, he turns to face Sam and blurt, "I don't think he's gonna let her leave." Sam gapes in dismay while Molly slowly edges back away from the two freaks in the front seat, rather inadvertently allowing the METAL TEETH CHOMP! to tear off a piece of her ass.

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