Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 1 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Genetics

John tells his boys that he's going to Lincoln. Sam protests, reminding his father that the demon is coming that night and they need the gun. John concocts one hell of a wacky plan, suggesting that because nobody's really ever seen the gun...Dean interjects, "So, what? You're just going to pick up a ringer in a pawn shop?" John smarms, "Antique store." Dean thinks the plan is stupid, because what happens when Short Lip figures out she's been handed a fake. John says he just needs to buy a few hours, and then Sam realizes, and asks tearily, "You want us to stay here and kill the demon by ourselves?" Seriously, dude. You let your son drop out of Stanford for this shit, and then bail on the final fight? La-ame. John figures that while he's being lame, he'll really get a dogpile going, so he swallows a frog and croaks, "I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want Dean to have a home. I want Mary alive. I just want this to be over." I want there to be some limit to the amount of parallel construction one recapper should be forced to recount.

Outside, John fiddles with the guns in the trunk of his AssTruck. Heh. Dean drives up in the Metallicar, pulls the gun (in a grotty paper bag) out from inside his pocket, and hands it to his father. Dean asks, "You know this is a trap, don't you?" John says he can handle Short Lip. How, by sitting on the edge of a bed and bossing your sons around? When has this man ever displayed any kind of prowess at anything? Dean asks his dad to promise that if "this thing goes south, just get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed, you're no good to us dead." Nice delivery, but somehow, whether it's Morgan's acting or the character of John Winchester, all the charisma anyone else brings to a scene just gets vaporized. John repeats what we already know: only four special bullets left, make them count. Blah diddy blah "you finish what I started," lots of serious looks and staring, and then John hands Dean the gun, which the latter grasps familiarly around the barrel. Sam chin-ups, "We'll see you soon, Dad," Dean just sniffs, and John gets in the AssTruck and drives off. Finally. I wish that big dinosaur foot would come out of nowhere and just stomp him to pieces. Watching his father go, Dean quietly says, "Later."Commercials. The AssTruck pulls up outside the warehouse. Entirely too much slow walking around and glancing and smoking warehouse vents. Then entirely even too much more slow walking, and then a little lumbering thrown in for good measure. John looks around. Then he sort of touches a few things. Drunken Bee wonders: is this episode a treat for me, a reward for all my hard work this season? Because there is literally nothing to even recap in half of these scenes. And yet, somehow, I will manage to produce 10,000 words out of this nothing. The magical alchemy of television!

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