Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 1 USERS: B-
The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Genetics

Back in Salvation, Sam and Dean lurk outside Monica's house, wondering how they are going to get the family out of there. Sam thinks they should tell them there's a gas leak. Dean reminds him that the gas leak plan has backfired on them once before. However, what does it matter if your escape plan is foiled when you can be sure that the space/time continuum usually warps in your favor? Then Sam suggests that they might tell Monica and family the truth. Dean swings his head around toward his brother and grimaces and they both go, "Naaaaah." Dean tells Sam that their only move is to just wait until the demon shows up, and make sure that they kill it before it kills anybody else. Sam wonders how their father is doing; Dean would feel better if they were with their father, backing him up. Sam would feel better if Daddy were there backing them up. If only Sam could see John slowly lumbering, he'd probably be glad that big fat albatross isn't there weighing them down.

And speaking of albatrosses, back we go to the Warehouse of Nuthin' Much Doin'. John keeps lumbering and touching stuff in various steamy locales. In particular, he is now lumbering and touching what appears to be a mini-water tower. Short Lip suddenly hovers into the foreground -- ack! Quit it, Carol Channing!-- gazing mysteriously off-screen and then slooowwwwly turning her head toward where John once stood, touching some stuff, only to find that...HE ISN'T THERE ANYMORE! I know, I could barely believe it myself. Cut to John, hiding behind some wall, then creeping around and touching some stuff. Ooh, then he climbs the ladder he was just touching, opens a trap door, says some Latin while holding a rosary, and then drops it into the water in the water barrel.

Cut back to the boys still lurking outside Monica's house in the Metallicar. Sam thinks it's weird to finally be about to take on the thing they've been wanting to fight for so long. Dean says they just have to do their jobs, "like always." Sam doesn't think this is an "always" kind of job, and launches into a little speech: "Dean, I want to thank've always had my back...I just wanted to let you know, just in case." Dean interrupts him, telling to hold his horses and stop with the "just in case" crap: "Nobody's dyin' tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody," and then adds on almost as an afterthought, "Except that demon." Dean really gives Sam the crazy eyes in this scene.We whoosh back to Short Lip standing around in the Steamiest Little Warehouse in Iowa. She turns to find John lumber slowly up behind her. Short Lip is back at her toothy delivery: "John! You're back. Too bad, rew-wey." She tells him she sees where the boys get their good looks, but then tells him she thought he'd be taller. John is silent. Short Lip asks for the gun. John, crack hunter that he is, asks, "If I give you the gun, how do I get out of here." OH, COME ON, MAN! Short Lip says he should just figure it out. When he says he might shoot her, Short Lip tells him that it won't matter because there's more where she came from, and at that moment Sebastian Spence, who just wrapped his scene in Insert Sci-Fi Channel Show Here across the lot, comes lurking into the background, preceded by...yes, you guessed it, steamy fog. He walks verrrry sloowwwwly, in keeping with the theme of the episode. John asks who he is, Short Lip refuses to tell him, Sebastian Spence botoxes in John's general direction. John hands the gun to Short Lip, the supernatural being, who takes the gun and seems pretty convinced. Could we please have some consistency on the level of precognition a variety of characters on this show have? She then hands it to Sebastian Spence, who takes it, furrows his mouth (because his brow won't budge), looks pointedly at John, cocks the gun, and then...shoots Short Lip. Are we supposed to be surprised that he did so? I wasn't, because of course he has to test it on a demon that is invulnerable to other bullets. Well, Short Lip isn't the slickest gloss in the tube because she's damn surprised: "You shot me! I can't believe you just shot me!" BotoxoCop barks, "It's a fake!" and the importance of this conclusion has been punctuated by a variety of percussives loudly banging at the end of each of Short Lip's and BotoxoCop's exclamations. The scene ends with about sixty-three close-up cuts between each character's faces. To my admittedly untrained eye, it seems they are all wondering whether or not to go for the Jack Daniel's® Grill or Steakhouse Selects at Friday's later on. Metal Teeth Chomp.

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