Supernatural
Shut Up, Dr. Phil

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 7 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
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...SNOT ROCKET! "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Looks like someone's awake tonight. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" You just gonna writhe, or do you actually have something of substance to add at this juncture? "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I'll continue with the recap, then.

The camera fades up on the interior of This Week's Motel Room, where it finds one of Our Intrepid Heroes slumbering peacefully on one of the beds -- or is he? Dashing El Deano flinches in his sleep, and a quick dive down into his unconscious mind reveals a string of supposedly disturbing images, among them Castiel's reservoir-related disappearance from this season's second episode, Crazy Sammy squeezing off round after round at the invisible Lucifer who's living inside his head and Dead Amy Pond's final moments alive, and should I bother mentioning the fact that Dean wasn't actually present to witness one of these events? "You should not!" All-righty, then. In any event, what any of these things have to do with one another is anyone's guess, but Dozing El Deano's apparently so disturbed by what his brain's vomiting back at him that he bolts upright, all instantly awake and on-edge, and he pants and he sweats and he makes batshit-insane cross-eyes at the camera for a bit until he finally calms down and rises to fix himself a refreshing breakfast cocktail. "Atta girl!"

Moments later, Drunky El Deano drains the last of a bottle of whiskey whilst perusing the online municipal archives of Prosperity, Indiana, and his search for "FREAKY ACCIDENTS" has of course led him to an article detailing the gruesome pre-credits hair salon barbecue, but before he gets a chance to dig into the details, Darling Sammy jogs into the room, fresh from his morning run. Because, you know, Darling Sammy's a total health nut now that he's absolved himself from whatever the hell they were talking about at the end of last week's episode. "Somebody better be chasing you," Dean growls. "It's good for you!" Sam perks by way of response. "No, it's not good for you," Dean sneers. "You're a mess, and you stink!" Sam's all, "Whatever," and fetches himself an extortionately priced bottle of Gatorade from the room's mini-fridge while Dean succinctly details the results of his handy little drunken Internet search like so: "This one chick," he notes, "roasted underneath one of those beehive hair dryers at the hair salon, and this other guy boiled in a hot tub." "You don't see a lot of that," Sam admits. "No, you don't," Dean agrees, and the two prepare to motor on down to Prosperity to investigate. Of course, they must first spend several boring minutes batting their various Issues back and forth, but we'll be ignoring all of that in favor of hopping on over to...

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Supernatural

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