Slash Fiction

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 8 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Sound Like Sensible Fucking Men

Polk County Sheriff's Department. Actual Dean pleads with the sheriff to allow him one phone call to Bobby. The sheriff evidently relents, because the next thing we know, we've...

...rejoined Bobby down in The Ridiculously Rustic Basement, where we find him examining the now-headless and thoroughly charred remains of what had once been his Leviathanically enhanced doppelganger. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" In all honesty, it's not that particularly gruesome, but I'll allow Raoul his fun now, seeing as how he's had so little opportunity to revel in the grue thus far this season. "EEEEEE -- Thanks! -- EEEEEEE!" Don't mention it. Anyway, Bobby's cell of course rings, and it's Dean, and Bobby wastes not an instant informing him of the miracle substance that reduces Leviathans to mangled, crispy clots of flesh: Borax. Yeah, that's right -- this stuff. Hey, it's no weirder than frigging rock salt, so whatever. Between the borax and the decapitation, Our Authentic Idiots should be able to put down their Leviathanically enhanced doppelgangers for a fairly lengthy period of time, but of course, there's a problem. The Polk County sheriff heard every word of this particular conversation, and he's so sickened and repulsed by the apparent depravity on display between Natural Born El Deano and the latter's growly henchpsycho on the other end of the line that the sheriff flat-out refuses to cooperate any further with his prisoner, and with that, he flounces back towards his office.

Fortunately, he emerges from the holding cells just in time to watch as the blood-streaked LeviaDeputies morph back into the LeviaTwins, and not an instant passes before the sheriff's staggering back towards the holding cells to beg Actual Dean's forgiveness. Or something like that. He quickly frees Actual Dean, then scampers off to scrounge up every last ounce of liquid borax in the stationhouse while Actual Dean veers off in search of his actual brother.

And speaking of Actual Sam, there he is, all by his lonesome in the interrogation room. One of the Deans presently pokes his head through the interrogation room's door, and it's LeviaDean, of course, there to taunt at The Ginormotron now shackled helplessly to the table. DUN!

Meanwhile, Actual Dean swipes a dead deputy's sidearm just in time to fire a couple of ineffective rounds into LeviaSam's chest. LeviaSam more or less flips Actual Dean through a wall, and things are looking pretty grim, indeed, for Actual Dean, so of course we must jump back to the...

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