Slash Fiction

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 8 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Sound Like Sensible Fucking Men

Okay, I'm done. Our Intrepid Heroes sit there in a squirmy and hilarious silence for a few moments until Sam suddenly realizes something about their evil twins' rampage across the United States: They're hitting the same towns, and in the exact same order, that the boys did way back at the beginning of Season One. Jericho? Yep. Black Water Ridge? Bingo. Lake Manitoc? But of course. And so on through Nazareth and Toledo right up to St. Louis, Missouri, which should be the next city on the list. "Perfect!" Dean grins. "Connor's Diner!" he beams, waxing nostalgic. "Best burgers in St. Louis -- oh, I deserve something good in my life right now!"

Cut to Connor's Diner, where the camera finds Dean already devouring one of those aforementioned burgers. He chews thoughtfully for a moment, then turns to Sam and says, "You know, he has one of these every day, and in his heart, he thinks they're almost as good as sex?" D'OH! Nice fake out, show. LeviaDean tosses the half-eaten burger back onto his plate and all but gags, "This is disgusting." LeviaSam pissily pushes his simple salad away and grumps, "Dead plants with creamy goo -- it's like eating self-righteousness." Hee. There follows a genuinely amusing conversation between the two Leviathanically enhanced doppelgangers in which they proceed to trash, point by glorious point, every single facet of Our Intrepid Idiots' characters that we've grown to hate over the last couple of years. Well, okay, a couple of facets, including Dean's unbearable "hero complex" and Sam's neverending bouts of insanity, but it's worth it. "You know," LeviaSam eventually notes, "I had a brother with this many issues once." "Yeah?" LeviaDean prompts. "Know what I did?" LeviaSam asks. "I ate him." "'Course you did," LeviaDean nods. "How are these guys even a threat?" LeviaSam wonders, and that's an excellent question, LeviaSam. Unfortunately, LeviaDean's only answer isn't an answer at all. "Boss says they gotta go," LeviaDean shrugs, and thanks for nothing LeviaDean. LeviaSam chooses to blow past LeviaDean's answer that isn't, and instead offers up the following proposal: "Wanna trade? I mean, I'll take Chuckles over Schizo." LeviaDean thinks that one over for a moment before deciding, "I like this one's hair better. You can stay in the big one." Ha!

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