Southern Comfort

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C | 12 USERS: B+
A Confederacy of Dunces
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

THEN! Sam and Dean met a silly hunter named Garth who probably should have died a thousand times over. After all, Sam and Dean die all the time -- even with each other as backup -- and they're big, strong, strapping things. Garth looks like he'd be knocked flat on his ass the first time he fired a gun. He even slept through the time they battled that Japanese beer monster, which I still totally think should have been named Grogzilla. Sam and Dean, perhaps finally feeling the effects of the many, many blows to their noggins, eventually grew to sort of like Garth. All that was before Sam gave up hunting so he could play house with an ornery veterinarian named Amelia. At the same time, Dean was trapped in Purgatory and making friends with a vampire named Benny. Sam finally met Benny and pissily pursed his lips so tightly that they became a singularity from which not even light could escape. Benny took one look at this, sensed that a terrible and boring brotherly fight was brewing, and got the hell out of their way.

NOW! We start off, as we often do, in a small town in the middle of the night. This time, it's Kearney, Missouri. A man works in his garage, fiddling with something under his car. Nothing good ever happens to people who work on their cars in horror stories. He sees a woman walking towards him through the open garage door. She looks angry, but the doomed mechanic seems less than adept at reading body language. "Hey, hon! You're just in time," he greets her. "Grab me a cold one, would ya?" She scowls down at him and shouts, "Why don't you have Sarah Alcott get it for you!" She kicks the jack out from under the car and two tons of American sedan drop onto the doomed mechanic. He gasps and sputters and begs for help, but the lady ignores him and gets into the car. "Mary, help me," he pleads. She turns the key in the ignition and steps hard on the gas. The doomed mechanic proved too good at his repairs and the car roars forward. Bones crunch blood sprays across a nearby Confederate flag, all but obscuring its promise that the South will rise again. This season's title graphic flames onto the screen and it will prove to be the most interesting thing about this dud of an episode.

Somewhere between where we left off in Washington last week and Missouri, Dean parks his perky behind against the side of the Impala. They are in the parking lot of a colorful eatery that a humorously porcine sign tells us is Fat Mack's Bar-B-Q Rib Shack. Dean reads something on his phone as Sam returns with a bag of ribs, presumably. The real supernatural mystery at the heart of this show is how these guys eat like this every day and keep their underwear model physiques.

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