Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 22 USERS: A-
It's Better For the Hardy Boys to Burn Out Than Fade Away

So, that's that, and with that, Darling Sammy regains control of his body long enough to slide the interlocking Horsemen's rings from his jeans pocket, toss them onto the grass, and commence with the portal-opening Latination, all while a thoroughly battered and broken El Deano watches from a barely conscious daze in the dirt at Metallicar's side. Soon enough, the rings rip downwards through the ground, opening a hole that swallows several of the surrounding graves while triggering a massive, sucking whirlwind that burrows itself deep into the earth. At the last instant, though, Michael-In-Adam reappears to scream something unimportant and dull about Destiny, and the two tangle at the edge of the pit for a moment before Sam drags the aggravating archangel straight down into the crappiest CGI effect I've ever seen in my life, and I watched all eight seasons of Charmed, for Christ's sake. Once they're gone, the hole seals itself back up, leaving The Horsemen's rings shimmering in the grass. And then Frankendean -- seriously, that's how mangled his face it, post-beatdown -- wallows in his solitary pain and misery for a moment before vanishing into this season's last METAL TEETH CHOMP!

Cemetery. Aftermath. Frankendean mourns the loss of his killer good looks for a very long period of time, but then My Thoroughly Restored Baboo pops up from out of nowhere to heal The Pretty with a mere touch of his fingertips. "Are you God?" Dean honestly wonders once the healing is done, and while many thousands on the Interwebs would happily accept Misha Collins as their personal Lord and Savior, Castiel's forced to reply with the truth: "That's a nice compliment, but no." "Although I do believe He brought me back," Castiel admits. "New and improved," he adds, almost as an afterthought as he strides across the lawn to resurrect Bobby.

And once Bobby's choked and sputtered and hacked himself back to life, Chuck starts in with this evening's closing narration, sounding quite frankly far more like a whiny television writer than A Prophet Of The Lord. "Endings are hard," he insists. "Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible." We've cut over to the interior of Chuck's ramshackle hovel by this point, and The Prophet has suspiciously changed from his expected tatty striped robe into a crisp, clean white button-down shirt. This should suck. "You try to tie up every loose end," he continues, "but you never can -- the fans are always gonna bitch, there's always gonna be holes, and since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass." You wanna know what's even more of a raging pain in the ass, Chuck? Sitting through shitty endings like this one.

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