Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 22 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
It's Better For the Hardy Boys to Burn Out Than Fade Away

Somewhere abandoned and industrial, Sam wipes a bit of grue from The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't as two upside-down demonically enhanced extras leak what's left of their blood into a couple of catch buckets on the floor. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Take it where you can get it, hon. "Thanks! I will! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The extras have been suspended by their heels from meat hooks embedded in the ceiling, and Sam's used The Knife to slash open their throats, apparently, so Castiel and Dean can collect Sam's necessary CRACK! in a series of plastic gallon containers, which the three then load into the Impala's bottomless trunk outside. Dean appears to be sporting a bruise on his cheek, so I'm guessing some genius decided we needed to miss a terribly exciting fight sequence in favor of subjecting us all to the incessant yammering that makes up most of the remainder of the episode. "Hmph!" I feel your pain, Raoul. I feel your pain. In any event, Dean strolls on over to Bobby to confirm that, yes, two demonically enhanced supernumeraries were indeed waiting for them inside and that, yes, they managed to acquire "all the Go Juice Sammy can drink." They next confab about the various omens that have been popping up around the country, including cyclones in Tampa and wildfires in Los Angeles, before deciding that a mysterious 20-degree temperature drop confined to a five-square-block area in downtown Detroit is likely the omen they're actually looking for, especially given the fact that Lucifer promised Sam their final showdown would occur in that particular city. The boys exchange A Look Fraught With Significance out there in the abandoned and industrial parking lot, and then we head off...

...to the open road, where we find Dean piloting the Impala through the rain-streaked darkness with Bobby tagging along behind in his van. The camera ducks inside Metallicar to find Castiel snoozing away like an infant in the back seat, which of course tugs at Dean's heartstrings. "Ain't he a little angel?" Our Smitten Hero swoons, gazing at his celestial boyfriend's slumbering reflection in the rear-view mirror. Sam swivels around to gawp for a moment, then settles back down in the passenger seat to gloom, "Angels don't sleep." Dean silently grasps the implications inherent in The Ginormomope's cheerless observation, and once again voices his misgivings regarding Sam's abysmally stupid plan to end The Apocalypse, especially now that yet another piece of the prophesy is coming true. "He always said he'd jump your bones in Detroit," Dean complains, referring of course to Lucifer, "and here we are!" "Maybe he knows something we don't," Dean cautions. "I'm sure he knows a buttload we don't," Sam sighs before adding, "We just gotta hope he doesn't know about the rings," and Darling Sammy? Honeybunch? Sweetheart? Gigantic Walking Hair-Don't? Yeah, over here: Even if Satan doesn't know that The Horsemen's rings can lock him back in his divinely wrought cage for all eternity -- and that's one hell of a mighty big "if," I must note -- he sure as hell will find out about them the instant he's assumed control of your brain, you fucking moron! GOD! Of all the ignorant, brickheaded, harebrained, witless, asinine, illogical plans, I...I can't...it's too...I HATE... "Demian!" WHAT? "That vein in your forehead is throbbing again!" CRAP! Oh, I can't take this anymore. "Shall I fetch you a cocktail!?" Sigh. Not just yet, my faithful recapping companion. "Are you sure?!" Yeah -- for now, I'm just going to have to soldier through all of the abject stupidity on display in this wretched excuse for a season finale on my own. "And how, pray tell, do you intend to do that while abstaining from several delightful and refreshing beverages!? Hmmmm?!" By ignoring it all, of course. Next! "Hee!"

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Supernatural

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