Taxi Driver

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: D+ | 20 USERS: B+
Hell Is Other People
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

THEN! Dean learned that someone named Naomi has been controlling Castiel since she rescued his favorite angel from Purgatory. Speaking of Purgatory, Dean met a furry vampire named Benny while they were both trapped there. Benny led him to a escape hatch in exchange for letting him hitch a ride on out of there. Sam was super pissy about Dean having a vampire friend, even though said vampire totally saved his brother's life. Dean the Doormat broke with Benny and didn't even have the courtesy to do it in person. Kevin Tran, God's Most Annoying Prophet, decoded his half of the Demon Tablet and told the Winchesters how to shut the gates to Hell. Dean was raring to complete the necessary trials, but Sam inadvertently stepped all over his martyrdom and ended up passing the first trial himself. Meanwhile, Kevin echoed many a viewer's sentiment when he declared, "I need this to be over!"

NOW! Nighttime. Kevin, fast asleep in the houseboat that really isn't, hears the familiar rasp of Crowley's voice. "I know what you're up to," Crowley says. "I know what you're up to, working with them -- with those Winchesters." Kevin wakes with a gasp only to find himself alone. He checks under the bed, just to make sure. "I'm in your head, as well as everywhere else," Crowley says. Except under the bed, as we've established. How hilarious would it have been if Crowley had really been down there? Lying amid the dust bunnies, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice sound echoey. Alas, there's not to be any mirth in this episode. "Last time you irked me, you lost a finger," Crowley says. "Imagine what will happen this time." Kevin looks down at his hand, or at what used to be his hand and is now a bloody stump. Kevin screams. His legs disappear from under him, leaving him sitting on the floor in a pool of blood and suddenly too-long jeans. Supernatural!

Daytime. Dean and Sam bang on the door as the episode's title appears on the screen. The writer must have been pressed for a title, because the episode has very little to do with the taxi driver. Kevin opens the door, wielding a frying pan that's roughly the size of his torso. The good news is that he's wielding it with his hands, which appear to be as extant as ever. (When I say "good news," I mean for Kevin; I don't particularly care.) "What's with the SOS?" Dean asks. Maybe he needed a spatula? "It's him... Crowley," he says, ushering the brothers inside. "He's in my head." Kevin points to his skull, just in case the Winchesters were wondering where that might be. Sam and Dean dismiss Kevin's concerns as bad dreams instead of finally whisking him off to the Lair O' Letters. "Look," Dean says, "if Crowley knew where you were, he'd do a lot more than mess with your head." Why doesn't it occur to the Winchesters that even though Crowley doesn't know where Kevin is, he could still mess with his head? Or, failing that, why doesn't it occur to them that even if Kevin is just imagining things, he wouldn't do himself harm in some way? Why? Because the plot of this stupid episode requires stupidity. Everyone has to be dumb for this thing to galumph its way across the finish line. Anyway, Kevin has a throwaway line about Garth being out doing goodness knows what. Again, it's plot-necessitated crap.

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