The Born-Again Identity

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | 5 USERS: A+
Wake Up, Little Hardy Boys

In any event, when the dripping is done, Dashing El Deano barges into the run-down office of some beleaguered hospital administrator, bellowing for access to his grievously injured brother. "Doctor Kadinsky" rises from his desk, dismisses the screaming nurse who'd run in after Our Belligerent Hero, and gently informs Dashing El Deano that Darling Sammy has been admitted for treatment of a broken rib and several minor lacerations, even though that goddamned sedan basically kneecapped him, which means he should be missing both of his heretofore remarkably healthy legs at this point. Dean's all, "Broken rib? That's not so bad. And?" "And," the good doctor hesitantly replies, "he's on our locked psychiatric floor." DUN! "You're aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?" the good doctor asks. If Dashing El Deano wasn't aware of that fact, he is now, and even though he argues that Batshit Sammy is no "freakin' Norman Bates," the good doctor insists his staff must determine if Batshit Sammy's psychosis was brought on by his exhaustion (and dehydration!), or if Batshit Sammy's exhaustion (and dehydration!) is merely a symptom of some far more troubling underlying condition. I'd insert some thoroughly tasteless KONY 2012-related comment here, I'm sure, were it not for the fact that everyone's already forgotten about that particularly hilarious example of born-again closet-case "exhaustion and dehydration" by now. Though, you know, given this episode's title... Nah, this installment was long in the can by the time Jason Russell unleashed his inner drag queen on the streets of San Diego, so I suppose I should just forget about it and keep this recap moving, right? Right.

In any event, the good doctor and his colleagues are perplexed, because they've basically pumped an entire pharmacy's worth of elephant tranquilizers into Batshit Sammy's veins, and The Ginormocrazy still won't go to sleep. "I've never seen anything like it," the good doctor ruefully admits, and with that, he leads Dashing El Deano upstairs to the psychiatric ward, where they find Batshit Sammy lying on a bed in a private room, looking positively resplendent in a very tight white T-shirt. Lucifer's there, of course, perched on a desk and tossing off a variety of supposedly vicious bon mots while working a cat's cradle, but as none of his barbs are particularly amusing, I'll be ignoring him in favor of...listening while Our Intrepid Heroes talk each other to death? Fuck that shit. Long, long story short, Batshit Sammy's resigned to his apparent fate, Dashing El Deano's pissed off because Batshit Sammy's giving up, reference is made to a far superior first-season episode for what will soon become obvious reasons, and Dashing El Deano clompy-stomps on out of there while Lucifer continues with his sneering.

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