Supernatural

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Waste An Hour Of Our Lives

Oh, this is just stupid. And that's saying a lot, considering the abject stupidity surrounding it. Once Crowley whisks himself elsewhere, Dean heads to the mysteriously still-functioning rattrap bathroom to splash water on his face, and Super-Stealth Sammy locks him in there to go play Hide The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't with Whatever Is Currently Occupying Brady's Dead Body. And Dean -- the guy who effortlessly hurls himself through stained-glass windows, for Christ's sake -- can't kick that rotting door down. Go to Hell, Supernatural.

And then? Yet another attempt to interest us in events that transpired at Stanford University seven goddamned years ago. Long story short, Whatever Is Currently Occupying Brady's Dead Body -- following The Ceiling Demon's orders, by the way -- initially possessed its host during Thanksgiving break their sophomore year, and upon its return to college managed to engineer a breakdown for its host of Lohanesque proportions, thereby ensuring Gullible Sammy would work extra hard to save his lunch-line pal and set the guy back on the straight and narrow, thus forging an unbreakable emotional bond between the two gents. Or, you know, between Sam and the thing Sam believed to be his friend. Then, Whatever Is Currently Occupying Brady's Dead Body introduced Sam to the late, unlamented Jessica Moore, and proceeded to...nail her to the ceiling with a foot-wide gash through her torso right before it blew her up? Fuck you, show. Fuck you! There are examples of retroactive continuity that pretty awesome, like Azazel actually receiving his marching orders from Lucifer all the way back in 1972 or Mary Campbell making the deal that would doom her sons to lifetimes of misery and pain, and there are examples of retroactive continuity that I don't actively hate, like The Trickster being The Archangel Gabriel all along, but then there's bullshit like this. No, show, this sneering little punk-ass bag of bleeding crap did not nail Jessica Moore to the ceiling with a foot-wide gash through her torso right before he blew her up back at the end of the pilot because The Ceiling Demon nailed Jessica Moore to the ceiling with a foot-wide gash through her torso right before he blew her up back at the end the pilot, and if you try to tell me otherwise again I'll... I'll... Well, actually, I'll just keep making fun of you every week like I've been doing for the last four years. I'll tell you what, though: This episode is dead to me. DEAD.

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Supernatural

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