The Girl Next Door

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 7 USERS: B
It's Like The Hardy Boys Aren't Even Trying Anymore

The next morning, Dean awakens on the sofa in that ridiculously scenic rustic homestead to find Sam's note, which reads, "BACK IN A fEw DAYS. I'M fINe." Needless to say, Sam's sloppy penmanship sends Dean flying into a vivid rage -- a rage only made worse once he discovers the Impala's missing as well, natch -- and after a quick call to Bobby that ends up being as pointless as everything else in this goddamned episode, he fires up a tiny little circular hand-saw to cut off his cast. Even though it's been all of twenty-one days since Leviathan Edgar ground Our Intrepid Moron's tibia into sparkly bone dust, which means Dean should actually be stuck in that goddamned cast for at least another goddamned month, but as I've already ranted about this stupid fucking development earlier in the recap, I'll just say FUCK YOU, SUPERNATURAL, and keep this moving, okay? "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Yes, I know you're still asleep, Raoul. Shut up. "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

Down in The Gallatin County Morgue, Dapper Sam's once again masquerading as an FBI agent to gain access to the excessively hirsute biker-type's corpse, and as he wanders through the corridors with an extremely chatty sheriff's deputy, he learns that the late, unlamented biker-type was "a reeeeeal mensch" who'd been "busted a half-dozen times" in the past, presumably for dealing, although that's never quite made clear. Sam also confirms that the suspected killer blows into town just long enough to "gank a lowlife" before disappearing again, and after he ignores yet another phone call from Dean -- who appears as "Lars Ulrich" on Sam's cell, of course -- we hop back to the...

Whitefish Gas & Sip, where Dean arrives to find the bored-looking clerk watching an old Road Runner cartoon on the shop's wall-mounted television set. "Was there a big guy in here yesterday?" Dimwit El Deano asks. "That's specific," the clerk replies, instantly becoming my new best TV friend despite the fact that he shaves his head. Their conversation continues along these lines for a very lengthy period of time until Dean for some reason thinks to ask if the clerk still has a copy of yesterday's paper. Fortuitously enough, my new best TV friend does, and the headline sends Dean scrambling back to the car he evidently stole for a fast little road trip down to Bozeman.

Meanwhile, back in the morgue, the coroner obligingly slides the excessively hirsute biker-type's corpse from the cooler for Dapper Sam's inspection, all the while explaining that "a big chunk" of the corpse's mid-brain has gone missing. "Mid-brain, like pituitary gland?" Sam wonders. "A-yup!" answers the coroner, and with that, we're bitch-slapped straight into this evening's second...

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