The Girl With The Dungeons And Dragons Tattoo

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 21 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Pander Shamelessly To Geeks

ANY-way, Dashing El Deano pouts until his preternaturally pretty features get obliterated by this evening's SNOT ROCKET!, and as I have nothing new to offer you regarding Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon's own worrisome disappearance oh so many months ago, I'll just keep plugging forward with tonight's stupid episode, shall I? Okay.

And when the dripping is done, the camera fades up to linger on the exterior of Richard Roman Enterprises' worldwide headquarters in lovely downtown Mount Prospect, Illinois. As a just-appearing card at the bottom of the screen informs us we've arrived "Five Hours Earlier" that redhead from the pre-credits sequence tools up to the building's entrance on a bright yellow Vespa she's adorned with a perky little daisy ornament on one of the handlebars and I hate her already. Actually, I've hated her since the promo for this episode originally aired last week and that fucking daisy on her fucking Vespa isn't doing anything to change my mind. Nor, for that matter, is her Princess Leia t-shirt. And the fact that she strips off her helmet to don a set of earphones so she can blast "Walking on Sunshine" directly into her skull while adorkably bouncing her annoyingly-dressed self into the lobby isn't much helping matters, either. And by the time she swipes herself into the facility's heavily-secured glass-walled elevator to -- get this -- boogie her way on up to her floor, I want her fucking dead.

Unfortunately, I have to suffer her aggravating ass for the rest of this goddamned episode, so I suppose I should take a moment to note that this "Charlene Bradbury" person is being portrayed this evening by someone named "Felicia Day" and according to the good people on the forum boards, she's as insufferable in real life as she is here. In fact, from what I can gather, Felicia Day's not so much playing a character named "Charlene Bradbury" this evening as she's offering us all a minor variation on her extremely geek-friendly public persona. And as I don't recall clamoring for this show to start featuring masturbation material targeted towards the vast unwashed hordes of Comic-Con, this knowledge only serves to enrage me more. Really, Supernatural? You're throwing an entire episode at this nonentity in some desperate attempt to reverse your rapidly-declining ratings this late in your seventh season and you expect me to, what, thank you for it? Well, fuck you.

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