The Girl With The Dungeons And Dragons Tattoo

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 21 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Pander Shamelessly To Geeks

Back at her hatefully-adorned desk, Adorkably Quirky Super-Hacker™ Felicia Day® exchanges a few geek-coded remarks with the fat sack of crap before reenacting her pre-credits bit of futzing with Probably-Dead Frank's purloined hard drive and as she blatantly misspells the "SCAVENGE" part of "SCAVENGE PASSWORD," I'm even less convinced of her supposed super-specialness now than I was before. There's an entirely unnecessary reference to WarGames when Adorkably Quirky Super-Hacker™ Felicia Day® somehow fails to crack Probably-Dead Frank's encryption on her first try and with that, we head back over to...

...Dead Rufus's ridiculously scenic rustic homestead deep within the lush coastal rainforests of Montana's Rocky Mountains, where we pick up immediately where we left off prior to the arrival of this evening's SNOT ROCKET!, and I'd like to point out that we just spent six full minutes watching Adorkably Quirky Super-Hacker™ Felicia Day® do nothing. Nothing. Fuck this show. GOD!

ANYWAY. As Dashing El Deano and Darling Sammy prepare to climb aboard this week's crapped-out piece of automotive trash to embark upon their hasty and senseless jaunt to the greater Chicagoland area, Dead Bobby argues that they can't risk showing themselves in lovely downtown Mount Prospect as the place is likely filthy with Leviathans at the moment. Instead, he suggests, they should express-mail his magical traveling flask to Richard Roman's office, thereby allowing Dead Bobby to "ghost through the joint" in search of relevant information. After which they'll... have to break into the place to retrieve Dead Bobby's magical traveling flask, anyway? Excellent plan, Dead Bobby. Fortunately, Our Intrepid Heroes raise an objection of their own. Unfortunately, Our Idiot Morons' objection has nothing at all to do with mine, as they decide to oppose Dead Bobby's excellent plan on the grounds that, should Dead Bobby happen upon the monster responsible for his untimely demise, Dead Bobby will "go vengeful," leaving Our Idiot Morons with no other choice but to dispense with Dead Bobby's unquiet spirit for good. By salting and burning Dead Bobby's Magical Traveling Flask, of course. Which they will have to break into Richard Roman Enterprises to retrieve. Why is anyone still watching this show? No, seriously: WHY IS ANYONE STILL WATCHING THIS SHOW?

Oh whatever. We already know they're getting an eighth season of this shit, so forget I asked. For now.

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