The Great Escapist

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: N/A | 25 USERS: A-
Spiritual Enema

Meanwhile, in Santa Fe, New Mexico, God's Dreamiest Angel is having some coffee at a Biggerson's. Going on the lam has taken its toll on Castiel's hair, which he's neglected to gel into its usual state of perkiness. A waitress refills his cup. "You know, I remember when you first discovered it," he says of coffee. "Before you started brewing it, you'd just chew the berries. Folktale is true, by the way; you learned it from the goats." The waitress looks at him like he's crazy, which he may well be. "Been on the road a long time?" she asks. "Feels like I've been on the run forever," he says. With a backwards glance at what is probably her manager, she tells Castiel that he needs to order more than coffee if he wants to keep the table. So he orders something called the "Smart-Heart Beer-Battered Tempura Tempters," which probably comes with a side of coronary stents. As the waitress walks away, Castiel's table begins to quiver. "They're getting closer," he says to nobody in particular. This catches a nearby waiter's attention, and he looks over in Castiel's direction just in time to see him vanish. A moment later, two more angels flutter in, one of whom looks like a poor man's Jake Gyllenhaal: Prince of Persia edition. They quickly determine that they've just missed Castiel and flit away again.

Poor Man's Jake Gyllenhaal lands in Naomi's office. "Ion, tell me that you have good news," she says. "He's... using a clever tactic," says the negatively charged atom. "It's a restaurant called Biggerson's. The humans built hundreds of them, almost exactly alike." While he's explaining this, we get flashes of Castiel sipping cups of coffee in Florida, Colorado, Pennsylvania, and so on. The franchises all look the same, except for the changing CGI scenery in the windows behind Castiel. "It's their sameness," Ion says. "We try to orient ourselves, but it's as if we're in every Biggerson's at once, trapped in a quantum superposition!" Castiel looks increasingly worried as he quantum leaps from restaurant to restaurant. "He chooses which one to go to next; that's what gives him the edge," Ion says. That, and the 500 cups of coffee he's almost simultaneously ingesting. "There's just so many Biggersons," Ion says, looking ashamed and defeated. Are they really that low on angels these days? Even if they just have a handful of angels, they could occupy all the restaurants like Castiel is doing, and catch him in no time. But apparently not! Naomi thinks for a moment and hatches a plan: "You say he can't be caught? Then we will simply have to make him stop."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP