The Great Escapist

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: N/A | 25 USERS: A-
Spiritual Enema

"You have to stop," the waitress is still saying when we drop back in on Santa Fe. By now, Naomi has joined the party and grown tired of the endless loop. With a snap of her fingers, she breaks the waitress's neck. "We were supposed to be their shepherds, not their murderers," Castiel says. "Not always, angel," Naomi says. "There was that day back in Egypt, not so long ago, when we slew every firstborn whose door wasn't splashed with lamb's blood." Castiel's like, "Well, I wasn't there, so nyah." She says he was there, but doesn't remember. She's been messing around in his head for a pretty long time. "Honestly, I think you came off the line with a crack in your chassis," she says, snapping a chair into place so she can sit down across from him. She grumps about how Castiel's always been a rebellious one, never quite doing what he's been told. "Where is the Angel Tablet?" she asks, even though from her own recounting of history, he's not likely to tell her. Indeed, he gets a sly sort of smile and says, "In the words of good friend: bite me." She promises to do just that, then sends her minion angels off to search every Biggerson's for the tablet.

On the fake houseboat, with fake Sam and fake Dean, Kevin stops working for want of food. He sends the Winchesters off with a list of specific foods (not just mashed potatoes, but garlic mashed potatoes), which Sam and Dean seem amenable to fetching for him. "Those guys aren't half bad," Crowley says, watching the monitors from his director's chair. One of his toady demons is quick to agree with him: "No, sir! You chose well!" If that guy kisses up any harder, Crowley's going to have to perform an exorcism on his ass to get his lips out. "Of course, if I weren't so busy I could have played Dean myself," Crowley says. "Oh, you would have made a great Dean, sir," the toady says. Sensing he may have laid it on a little thick, the toady quickly turns back to his work.

Back at the Overlook Hotel, Sam is sprawled out in bed when Dean returns to give him the rundown. "We're the only guests in the whole place," he says. "Last entry in the registry was in '06." Sam's too busy having fever dreams to pay much attention, though. He starts reminiscing about the time their dad took them to the Grand Canyon on mules and Dean's mule farted constantly. Little did Dean know at the time that it would help prepare Dean for long road trips with Sam. Also, since when is John Winchester the dad who takes his kids on mule rides through the Grand Canyon and makes them soup when they get sick? Anyway, Sam lolls and LOLs until Dean decides there are more important things to do. "I'm gonna go check out the Two Rivers travel museum," he says. "I'm gonna follow the hotel manager," Sam says. "Doctor Scowly Scowl. He's like a villain from Scooby Doo." He sits up, all raring to go, but just as quickly falls back onto the bed when Dean suggests he get some rest.

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