Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 4 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Schedule Vasectomies

"I love you most in the whole wide world, Mummy!" Eeeeek! Aw, shit. Now Raoul's got me doing it. We've cut back over to Batshit Acres, where Demented Diana's strapping The Demonic Daughter into the backseat of the family sedan, and no, I had no idea where they were going with this the first time I watched it, but oh, how I love where it ended up. Demented Diana, sniffling and snuffling and just barely holding it together, finishes lashing The Demonic Daughter into the back and slams the locked door behind her. She then scrambles behind the steering wheel and distractedly adjusts the rear-view mirror (no, there's no reason for its position to have been altered since last she drove the car, but just go with it), only to glance at the reflection and find...a gaping maw filled with tiny, soul-sucking teeth staring back at her! Um. Why are my eardrums not being blasted out of my skull at the moment? "You silly little man!" Raoul shrieks, entirely undisturbed by the image on the screen. "Rotting skull-faces with lamprey maws frighten no one!" I won't pretend to understand, so let's get back to Demented Diana, who's just now recovered enough from her shock to twist her key in the ignition. A short time later, the car pulls up to the edge of a remote and otherwise deserted boat ramp, and yeah: They're going there. Openly weeping now, Demented Diana takes a moment to gather up her keys and her purse, shifts the car into neutral, and, after sliding out of the front seat, reaches back in to release the parking brake, effectively pulling a Susan Smith on The Demonic Daughter still strapped into the back of the car. The Demonic Daughter of course knows exactly what's going on, but rather than make any attempt to free herself, she instead glowers icily at her supposed mother as the car rolls down the asphalt into the lake. She's still glaring at Demented Diana when the water washes over the back window, but after a couple of jets of compressed air shoot from the submerged sedan to the lake's surface, Demented Diana's convinced The Demonic Daughter's gone for good, and a horrible, horrible expression of relief passes across her otherwise anguished features as the water stills above her vanished car. And again, Kathleen Munroe's doing an excellent job with this part. It surprised me, actually, because going by the Spoilers thread, I expected the heart of this episode to be Super-Special Super Sammy, The Remarkably Proficient Hate Blonde, and Poor Dean Whose Character Has Been Destroyed Because The Writers Don't Understand Him. Instead, it was about this wretched woman being slowly driven into the kind of insanity that compels her to murder her daughter. Go figure.

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