The Man Who Knew Too Much

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 5 USERS: B-
Que Sera Sera, Hardy Boys

Tough-Guy Jazz-Hands abound as Mildly Amnesiac Sam makes his way through a clearing, entirely unaware of the fact that Assailant Sam's hiding behind a tree. "I'm confused!" Just keep sipping on your flagon, hon. "Okay! [Slurp!]" Eventually, Assailant Sam sneaks up behind Mildly Amnesiac Sam and quickly disarms him, and then he sets to speechifying. At length. For hours. And as I have no real desire to watch Jared Padalecki share the screen with himself at this point in this dreadful and dreadfully misbegotten season, I'll be cutting to the chase: Long story short, when Castiel ripped apart that wall Capital-D Death had erected to separate Sam's mind from his soul, or whatever, Sam's personality fragmented into three parts: Pre-Apocalypse Sam, whom we've been following since the beginning of this episode, Soulless Sammy, whom I've been referring to as "Assailant Sam" up to this point, and Lucifer's Cage Sam, whom we'll hopefully be meeting at some point prior to the turn of the next century. The Three Faces Of Sam must battle each other to the death deep within the mush that now represents Catatonic Sammy's brain, for as everyone knows, There Can Be Only One. Soulless Sammy naturally has a leg up on The Other Two Sams, because he's an amoral badass who has no qualms about shooting himself in the face. Unfortunately, Soulless Sammy is a lousy shot, for he proceeds to fire off four or five rounds in Pre-Apocalypse Sam's direction, and each and every one of them misses. D'OH! Pre-Apocalypse Sam tears off through the trees, eventually stopping long enough to realize he accidentally shoved Dashing El Deano's trusty pearl-handled automatic down the back of his pants back at the Impala. He stumbles across a cunning plan, and vanishes into the woods.

Meanwhile, Soulless Sammy's taking his time strolling through that damn clearing, and when his eagle eyes spot a swatch of Pre-Apocalypse Sam's brown corduroy jacket hunkered down behind a log, he squeezes off two shots that somehow miraculously hit their target dead-on. One problem: Cunning Pre-Apocalypse Sam had stripped off his jacket and wadded it behind that log as a decoy, and he now calmly steps up behind Soulless Sammy to blow a massive hole through the latter's heretofore remarkably healthy chest. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Soulless Sammy flops face first into the dirt, dead, and his eye-searingly white essence, or whatever, spurts upwards from his rapidly cooling corpse to slam into Pre-Apocalypse Sam, who shudders and jerks just as...

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