The Slice Girls

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 6 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Really Need To Wrap That Shit Up

...rain-dampened sidewalk outside to process through recent events. By the way, the stenciled lettering on the building's doors reveals they've just exited the "SEATTLE POLICE CRIME LAB," so we now have a primary location for this evening's festivities. You know, in case you cared. In any event, Sam proposes they head back to This Week's Motel Room to deploy their collective mad Googling skillz in search of that peculiar, wavy-armed stick figure, but Drunky El Deano would much rather suck down copious amounts of healing booze, thank you very much, so he rather rudely bails on his brother to hit up...

..."The Cobalt Room," where the camera arrives to find him already in mid-conversation with some woman from The Vampire Diaries, which I have never watched, so whatever to this bit of stunt casting. There follows a series of extreme and extremely annoying close-ups on their eyes and their lips and their teeth and their hair as they flirt with each other, but nothing will detract from the fact that Vampire Lady's sleeveless, purple, ruffly Urban Cowgirl blouse is fucking awful, so I'm going to do my best to preserve what's left of my tortured sense of sight and skip ahead to the bit where Vampire Lady coos, "Want to move this conversation elsewhere?" because that means we can jump right into a...

...MONTAGE! And we all know how much I love me a good montage, right? Right. This one's set to the dulcet tones of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" and features Drunky El Deano getting it on with Vampire Lady back at her place while some unsuspecting schlub gets his extremities hacked off on the other side of town. It is, quite honestly, a pretty fun idea, this blatant juxtaposition of sex and violence -- and there's an especially nice quick cut from Vampire Lady tossing Drunky El Deano up against a wall to this evening's second bit of Monster Chow getting hurled up against one of his own -- but like so many pretty fun ideas on this show as of late, it proceeds to fall apart in the execution. Like I said on the forum boards shortly after this episode aired, the sex isn't violent enough and the violence isn't sexual enough for the whole thing to work as well as it should have, so...yeah. Whatever. In consideration of events to come, though, I should note that Drunky El Deano at no point stops the action to wrap up his business, though given the fact that we were explicitly told tonight's villains lack human DNA, I'm not sure if his apparent carelessness has any bearing whatsoever on Vampire Lady's subsequent pregnancy. Ooops. Spoiler!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP