There Will Be Blood

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 8 USERS: A
The Hardy Boys Drink Your Milkshake! They Drink It Up!

And in the end, Our Idiot Morons pop up from out of nowhere to hack off Leviathan Edgar's head. As a measure of his gratitude, The Vampire King opens a vein and bleeds out into a painfully tasteful goblet, which he then offers to Our Idiot Morons along with instructions to leave the premises, immediately. There's a bit of entirely worthless business involving The Vampire King's other child brides (and grooms) that I'll be otherwise ignoring completely simply because I find it irritating in the extreme, and after Our Idiot Morons and The Vampire King quite seriously promise to see each other "next season" -- ugh -- we finally -- finally -- head back over to...

...This Week's Motel Room, where Our Idiot Morons find the wreckage Dead Bobby left in the wake of his abrupt departure. Dumbass El Deano and Dimwit Sammy make some ridiculous faces at each other for a while before we head into this evening's final commercial break once again most woefully CHOMP!-less, and when this episode originally aired, I honestly thought that was it for this week, to the point that I switched off the TV.

Imagine my shock and horror, then, when I realized long after the fact (read: Now) that this installment actually has another minute and a half to go. We return from this evening's final break to listen as Our Idiot Morons gripe and whine and bitch at each other regarding Dead Bobby's disappearance, and then it's off to...

...SucroCorp's tackily-appointed world headquarters, where Richard Roman lights a flaming bowl of whatever to summon Crowley, who materializes just as the vast lighting fixture above his head transforms itself into a massive Devil's Trap. D'OH! "Mr. Crowley!" Richard Roman smiles. "We have so much to talk about." I'll bet. You two go right ahead and bore each other with your endless speechifying. Just make sure it's all fucking over and done with the next time I see you. Assholes.

Next week: Season finale! Season finale! Wooooooooo!

Demian can't wait to hear the excuse Raoul comes up with to explain his absence for the better part of this season. You may reach the former at The latter is an imaginary gay dragon on the Internet who apparently spent the last four months in Italy.

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