Time After Time

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 4 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Talk Of Killing Time

...a little later that evening, where Ness learns from a conveniently passing hay farmer that the blonde is named "Lila Taylor," and that she lives in the nearby house just barely visible through the atmospheric wisps of fog hugging the ground out here on the near-rural outskirts of the city. Ness instructs Dean to head back to Miss Ezra's while he himself keeps his "peepers" on "the Sheik and the Sheba" and, after Dean hands Ness a rifle, Our Intrepid Hero obediently motors on back to...

...Miss Ezra's, where the no-bullshit broad in question presents him with a very pointy stick. Miss Ezra, you see, is this era's version of Bobby The All-Knowing, and she's managed to scrounge up the one thing that can kill Chronos dead: A "thousand-year-old olive branch carved by vestal virgins" that's been dipped in the blood of some creature that will remain nameless forever, because Miss Ezra's rather rudely decided to keep that piece of information to herself. "Wait," Dean frowns. "If I kill Chronos, I'm stuck here." "You just now realized, dumbass?" Miss Ezra shoots back, except perhaps for the very last bit of that sentence. Poor Dean's pretty, pretty face falls at that, so Miss Ezra kindly tries to cheer him up with a chipper, "Oh, come on -- 1944 ain't so bad." "Yeah," Dean mopes, "I could head over to Europe and punch Hitler in the neck." "Oh, there's lots of ways to pass the time, sugar," Miss Ezra croons, and here, the sassy old gal latches onto his lapels to drag him into a salacious smooch. Atta girl. "That's for luck," Miss Ezra coyly smiles, gently wiping traces of her lipstick from his pouty mouth with her thumb before adding, "'Cause I'm lucky." To his eternal credit, Dean does not look completely grossed out by this turn of events, and instead simply turns to grab his hat. Spotting a few pieces of unopened mail on Miss Ezra's shop counter, he quickly stumbles across a cunning plan, murmurs, " Back to the Future!" and spins back around to smirk, "I need to borrow some paper."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Eliot Ness creeps up to Lila Taylor's front door, only to find himself jumped from behind by The God Of Time. A bout of manly fisticuffs ensues until Chronos punches Ness clear through the wall of Lila Taylor's gardening shed, and things are looking pretty grim for everyone's favorite former Treasury agent, indeed, until Lila unknowingly interrupts the riotous proceedings by sauntering out onto her porch to coo something schmoopy in Chronos's general direction. And while The God Of Time is thus so distracted by his apparent beloved, Ness beats a hasty and strategic retreat into this evening's next CHOMP!-less commercial break.

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