Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Do The Ultra-Violent

Hotel Canaan. Posh Bela enters her suite and...oh, fuck it. Let's just get this over with as quickly as possible, because there are fifteen minutes still to go in this episode, the final three of which are devoted entirely to her tiresome backstory, so to hell with this scene. Long story short, Dean jumps her the second she's crossed the threshold, and after a bit of sneering, he ransacks her room in search of The Fucking Colt That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't. And he did not ransack the room in her absence because...? Oh, Jesus. Like I said: Fuck it. Not finding The Fucking Colt -- which Posh Bela insists is now in the hands of some speaker of Farsi, and if you want a Mahmoud Ahmadinejad joke here, you're going to have to provide it yourself, because I can barely spell the douchebag's name correctly, so you can forget about the funny ha-has from me as far as he's concerned -- Dangerous El Deano levels the business end of his pearl-handled automatic at one of her preternaturally unblinking eyes, but just as he's about to pull the trigger, she gives him some lip. Unable not to rise to the bait, Dean tosses the fact that she killed her parents right back into her face. Yep, Posh Bela -- or "Abbie," as she was originally known back in the day -- lost her parents in a suspicious car accident when she was fourteen years old, after which she, as their sole beneficiary, inherited their many millions. The police suspected a tampered brake line, but the car's explosion upon impact precluded the determination of any sort of definitive cause, so Posh Bela walked.

And then? They Go There. Yep, we get a flashback to Abbie weeping on her bed as her very own Bad Touch Daddy deliberately stalks his way into her bedroom and just as deliberately shuts and locks the door behind him. Shut up, Supernatural.

Back in the present, where absolutely everybody still doesn't give a rat's ass about Posh Bela or her goddamned awful childhood, Dean's about to blow her smug, overdone face clean off her goddamned skull when he spies some sort of mystical hoodoo charm dangling from the top of the room's door. He clearly recognizes its purpose (and that recognition throws him for a visible, momentary loop), instantly changes his mind about plugging her full of holes, and shoves her aside so he might pull The Dean Winchester Patented Bow-Legged Clompy Stomp Of Great Vengeance And Furious Anger straight out of the room. Once he's gone, Posh Bela unfolds the motel receipt she evidently swiped from his jacket pocket and gets on her cell to announce to an unspecified someone on the other end, "It worked -- he found me. Sam wasn't with him, but I know where they are." DUN!

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