Episode Report Card
Demian: B | 2 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Do The Ultra-Violent

Some time later, the LYING LIARS WHO LIE have gained entrance to the Erie County Coroner's Office -- yet again masquerading as detectives -- and we enter the following scene just as the coroner's finishing his description of Dead Kavan's wounds: Kavan's liver did indeed go missing during his misadventure, but everything else was intact. (Well, everything else was intact until he dumped all of it onto that perky nurse's shoes, but whatever. We know what he means.) When Dean wonders if teeth marks were present on the victim's skin, the coroner becomes instantly suspicious of their supposed credentials, and asks to see their badges again. Our Intrepid Heroes successfully bluff their way through the challenge, but the coroner takes this opportunity to hoist an eyebrow into the air smirk, "Fine -- so you're cops and morons." Heh. The liver was not ripped out, you see, and the LYING LIARS WHO LIE would have known this had they actually read the coroner's report, in which he explicitly noted that Dead Kavan's liver was "removed surgically by someone who knew their way around a scalpel." "You done?" the coroner asks, having thus effectively exposed Our Intrepid Heroes apparent incompetence. "I think so!" Dean too-cheerfully nods. "Please go away," the coroner sighs, more than done with them. "Okay!" Dean readily agrees. Heh.

Out in the hall, Sam and Dean bang their heads together -- with Sam noticeably directing the conversation down the path he'd like it to follow -- until Dean understands they're looking at "organ theft" rather than "zombie lunch," and with that, they head off in search of an attack survivor...

...Whom they find on a hospital bed, still recovering from the unwitting and unwilling kidney donation he endured not too long ago. Long story short, Kidney Guy was feeding his meter when someone jumped him from behind, and the next thing he knew, he was strapped down on a table for some unanaesthetized surgery, during which he thankfully passed out and after which he awoke "in some No-Tell motel in a bathtub full of ice" minus a renal organ or two. Next!

Back at this week's motel, Ravenous El Deano's about to tuck into a delicious-looking cheeseburger when College Boy announces he's found something of interest on the Intertubes. Given we've found ourselves staring at a website entitled "Medical Procedures Of The 19th Century," I'm guessing this conversation leads to an unhappy end for Dean and his dinner. Sure enough, Sam points out that Kidney Guy's incision was sutured with silk thread, which was the cause of numerous resultant infections during the Victorian Era, so physicians of the period spread maggots across the affected areas to devour the diseased tissue. "Tasty!" shrieks Raoul, predictably enough. "Oh, do hush up, you tedious little man!" Raoul snorts, tossing an affronted side-eye in my general direction while two perfect circles of smoke spiral out from his nostrils. "I do believe I've forgotten more than you'll ever know about fine dining!" I don't doubt that for an instant, my scaly friend. Now, might I continue? "Please do! If this evening's delightful entertainment involves maggots, we must arrive at the appropriate scenes posthaste!" Not a problem. "Thanks! Now chop-chop!"

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