Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 5 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Schedule Vasectomies. Again.

The kindly lady relieves Dean of the infant, quickly soothes the kid, and graciously offers to change the child's wet diaper, as Sam and Dean "look exhausted." Dean politely fake-laughs at this, somehow managing to spin himself around to the point where he can easily see the security monitors set up on an adjacent checkout counter in the process. Of course, the kindly lady appears on the screen as some sort of mutant hellbeast with glowing eyes, so Dean quickly tones down the faux affability to request the return of the infant, now. "I'm happy to help," the shapeshifter smiles. "Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck," Dean demands. Sam makes to chide his horrifically rude lout of a brother, but Dean simply hikes a thumb back in the monitors' general direction. Sam spots the mutant hellbeast's glowing eyes on the screen just as the mutant hellbeast in question darts off through the supermarket with the infant curled up tightly in its arms, so the boys give chase, with Dean lunging after the shapeshifter itself while Sam thunders around the other side of the registers in an attempt to head it off at the exit.

Dean makes first contact, snatching at the shapeshifter's arm. Unfortunately for him, it's apparently on the verge of a full molt, so Dean just ends up with a soggy strip of skin in his hand. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sam makes it around the far corner at the very last second, and basically body-checks the beast just inside the supermarket's front doors. "VIOLENCE!" Why the sheer force of this collision does not reduce The Fresh Infant to a crimson smear of blood and baby guts across Sam's remarkably broad and healthy chest, I'll never know. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" But Sam does manage to wrestle The Fresh Infant away from the shapeshifter, and as Dean comes from behind to tackle it to the floor, Sam skedaddles out into the parking lot to fire up the Charger. Meanwhile, Dean's somehow managed to whip out a silver switchblade of his own, but just as he's about to gut the creature, the supermarket manager comes roaring around a corner, and the shapeshifter pulls this piteous old lady schtick out of its unnatural ass to whimper, "Help me! He's hurting me!" The manager hauls Dean off the grisly thing on the floor, and Dean plays nice for the briefest of moments before bolting for the parking lot, where he hops into the Charger's back seat and starts hollering, "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, GO!" Sam quite literally burns rubber on the parking lot asphalt, and the Charger jumps towards the street just seconds before the shapeshifter flies out the door. The shapeshifter, however, has excellent vision, and makes note of the Charger's Illinois license plate -- I4Z 0892, for those of you playing along at home -- before the car vanishes from sight.

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