Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 5 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Schedule Vasectomies. Again.

Out on some brilliantly lit backwoods lane, Sam busies himself putting as many miles between Our Intrepid Heroes and the supermarket monster as he can while Dean wrestles with The Fresh Infant's car seat. "The hell does a 'shifter want with a baby, anyway?" Dean grunts. "And how the hell did it find us?" "It could have been following me this whole time," Sam's depressed to realize, "since the baby's house." Dean determines their best course of action at the moment involves getting off the damn roads, already, and squirreling The Fresh Infant away somewhere safe. Sam's all, "Right-o!" and from there, we're off to...

...a secluded cul-de-sac somewhere quite close, I'm guessing, where we find a local sheriff's deputy requesting an ID on a certain Illinois license plate. The camera travels across the front of the prowler to take in the officer behind the wheel, the open-eyed corpse of the actual officer in the passenger seat because the first guy's the frigging shapeshifter, and, finally, the puddle of sticky goo and discarded clothing that are all that remains of the seemingly kindly little lady in the supermarket. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

This Week's Motel Room. Dean finally gets around to changing The Fresh Infant's diaper, and successfully manages to put the kid down for a nap. Sam, who'd spent this entire time making mocking noises from across the room, is unduly impressed with Dean's parenting skills. This leads to a discussion regarding Dean's home life with Bendy Lisa and The Brat, which leads to a discussion regarding their worthless bastard of a so-called father and their near-Dickensian upbringing thanks to same, which leads to a discussion regarding Dean's hopes for a better life for The Brat, even though The Brat isn't actually his child. Well, okay, it's not so much "a discussion" as it is "a monologue from Dean, who has downed several shots of whiskey by this point and is therefore feeling just a wee bit loquacious," but whatever. Sam ponders over everything Dean's said for a moment, then announces that it doesn't seem like Dashing El Deano's doing a much better job than the worst father in the history of the planet, Sucky John himself. Dean's constantly moving Bendy Lisa and The Brat around, and when they do settle in one place for longer than fifteen minutes, Dean puts them in lockdown, and how is any of that different from the way Shut Up Daddy raised them? This depressing conversation ends with the conclusion that Dean is turning into his father. "I'm bored!" Not to worry, friend of friends. There's plenty of excitement coming up in a couple of minutes. "Whee!"

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