Two Minutes To Midnight

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Cut Their Meat and Lick the Gravy

Warehouse. Immediate Aftermath. And it's a turkey shoot, basically. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A turkey shoot that takes place entirely off-camera. "Drat!" And once the initial tangle of rage zombies lies dead on the ground, Sam turns his attention to the struggle taking place even deeper within the warehouse interior. He passes Bobby The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't and takes off with a shotgun. Thus left to his own devices, Bobby quickly guts one of the demonically enhanced warehouse supervisors. Next!

"Chicago," "Illinois." Dean and Crowley arrive at yet another warehouse, this beneath the "El" "tracks," and Crowley's pretty sure Capital-D Death's inside, what with the hundreds of Reapers now loitering in the parking lot! DUN! As dust devils heralding The Storm Of The Millennium eddy about their feet, Crowley heads off to investigate, but D'OH! Death's not inside. Next!

Warehouse Of The Damned. Deluxe Action Sammy With The Super-Special Glow-In-The-Dark Zombie-Smiting Hands rescues a fair maiden from the mad clutches of yet another rage zombie, then takes out another before escorting the fair maiden and another survivor to the exit. Bobby's apparently dispatched a few more rage zombies himself, if that litter of sprawled corpses near the exit is anything to go by, and Sam heads off for one final sweep of the premises as Bobby gazes at Our Intrepid Hero in amazement. Or some such bullshit. Next!

"Chicago." Dean crosses a street to climb into the Impala just as a light rain begins to fall, fretting all the while about how to evacuate three million people from "Chicago" in the next ten minutes until Crowley pops in to announce he's found Death cooling his jets in a nearby pizzeria. A nearby pizzeria named "Rinascita." Oh, show. Oh, clever, clever show. And I'm going to pretend I didn't see that bumper sticker plastered onto one of the "El's" support columns. Next!

Warehouse Of The Damned. Bobby sporks the other demonically enhanced supervisor with The Knife That Can Kill Anything Except When It Usually Can't, Sam arrives with a few more survivors they push out the exit, a sly little bald-headed rage zombie leaps from his hiding place the instant Sam's foolishly announced the All Clear, and huzzah! For If It Is Thursday, Then Sam Is Being Throttled! "Whee!" Bobby attempts to aerate the sly little bald-headed rage zombie, but his shotgun dry-fires, and the ornery hairball's about to descend into a mad, screaming panic when My Badass Baboo calmly steps forward and blows off the top of the rage zombie's skull! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" "These things can be useful!" My Badass Baboo seems surprised to note once the rage zombie's head has dissolved in to a spray of blood and brain matter and bone. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Can we commit our act of domestic terrorism already?" Bobby sarcastically wonders, and hey, Bobby, if you got 'em, then blow 'em the hell up. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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