Two Minutes To Midnight

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Cut Their Meat and Lick the Gravy

After a brief farewell scene out in The Emporium's junkyard, Our Intrepid Heroes grumble off in the Impala and arrive in Davenport after dark, where they stake out Serenity Valley from across the street. "It's kinda more depressing than evil," Sam sighs. "It's like a four-color brochure for dying young," Dean agrees before realizing, "Of course, to Pestilence, it's probably Dollywood in there." They fret for a while about figuring out who among the inmates is human and who's not until Eagle-Eyed El Deano spots a security camera installed above the front entrance, which gives him an idea, and the next thing we know, the boys are wandering through the halls in search of the guards' office. They find it quickly enough, and Dean bumbles in, pretending to be lost, looking for his "nana," "Eunice Kennedy." The scruffy-looking rent-a-cop attempts to be helpful, and for his trouble uppercut to the jaw! "VIOLENCE!" shrieks Raoul, who I think had been getting bored up until this point. "Not in the least!" Raoul shriekingly assures me, and really, my scaly friend? This episode hasn't been dragging for you? "Absolutely not! In fact, I've found it extremely entertaining thus far!" That's, uh, surprising. To say the least. So, should I continue? "By all means!" Okay.

So, Devious El Deano knocks out the scruffy-looking rent-a-cop with one simple uppercut to the jaw and, after lugging the hapless minimum-wage wage-slave into an inconspicuous corner, he lets Sam into the office, and the two settle down to stare at the footage streaming in from the dozen or so security cameras planted in various points around the facility. And in the interest of brevity, I'll not be bothering to wonder why the hapless minimum-wage wage-slave remains unconscious throughout the time-lapse montage of dull video surveillance that follows, and will instead skip ahead to the point where Pestilence finally makes his appearance on the monitors. Cleverly enough, while the image remains stable where it's transmitting his clothing, it dissolves into a cloudy line of televisual snow wherever Pestilence's flesh is exposed, with minor otherworldly interference at his hands and a great big thick stripe of garbled data where his head should be. DUN! The boys follow his progress through the facility from one monitor to the next until The Horseman arrives at Doomed Celeste's bedside, and we get a repeat of the bad doctor chatting about his productive trip out west for a bit before hopping back over to Our Intrepid Heroes, who by now are slinking through the home's halls with various implements of demonic destruction at the ready. And as they tiptoe past an ailing patient's open door, the pretty, raven-haired attending nurse snaps her head to attention, her Hellish Spidey-sense all a-tingle. DUN! She darts her evilly twinkling eyes over towards the now-empty hallway, and a fiendish smile starts to spread across her face until she...

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