Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 2 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Have This Condition

...the present, where Sam snaps out of his reverie to clench his mighty jaw and dart his frantic eyes from left to right until he realizes Brenna's been staring at him this entire time like he's a lunatic. Darling Sammy nervously clears his throat and asks if he could borrow the case files for a little bit. Obviously eager to get this ginormous crackhead of a freak out of her dining room, Brenna readily agrees. Well, after she offers us all a touching valedictory for her dead husband, but whatever. "I beg your pardon, I'm sure! But where on earth has this evening's gooooooooooooore got to?!" Exactly, Raoul. Next!

Out on the front porch, Sam finally listens to Dean's last voice mail, but that's not important right now, because what is important right now is the fact that Sam's spotted a massive spider web clinging to the side of Chez Sheriff. Well, "spider" "web" -- and "clinging," for that matter -- but you know what they're going for, here. As Sam tippy-toes over to investigate, a familiar chittery clacking hits the soundtrack, and the camera switches over to gift us all with a spider-eye view of his progress across the porch until...Dean pops up from out of nowhere to scare the living shit out of him! DUN! Of course, for his troubles, Dean nearly gets his head blown off -- again -- but once Sam calms down, the two clomp down off the porch and into this evening's next METAL TEETH CHOMP!

This Week's Hovel. A lengthy conversation between Darling Sammy and Dreary El Deano ensues, the upshot of which is this: Dean's spazzing out because every inadvertently recovered memory drags Sam that much closer to the funny farm, and he wants them to get out of Bristol before the situation in Sam's brain deteriorates any further. Sam, however, is convinced he must atone for some mighty sin he committed a year ago, and he refuses to leave until they've captured and killed whatever's snatching up the brunettes of Rhode Island. Dean rails against this latest example of reprehensible stupidity on his brother's part, but even he is not immune to Darling Sammy's Ultra-Deluxe Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Abject Pleading And Doom, so he finally caves and suggests, "Well, let's Memento this thing, shall we?"

Memento Montage. Sam and Dean tack various pieces of evidence to the hovel's wall, connecting each bit to numerous others with lengths of twine until...

...FLASHBACK! This one starts off with a barrage of scattershot images, the most prominent of which feature this week's Special Guest Beast and the double irises she's got in her eyes, before it settles into another long narrative passage that picks up shortly after the last one left off. Via his cell, Slutty Sammy arranges with Sheriff Monster Chow to meet them in Lonely Pines Park, and when he hangs up, Zombie Grandpa wonders, "You sure about this?" "The Arachne's been snacking on mid-thirties guys," Slutty Sam reminds him. "We need bait that fits the demo -- I'm too young, and you're too old." "Eighty-nine and counting," Zombie Grandpa smirks, and with that bit of trivia at long last accounted for, he goes on to state, "I still think that we should have looped [Sheriff Monster Chow] in on the plan." Slutty Sammy counters that Roy's ignorance will lead to a more credible performance on his part, and while the two continue to bicker over cocktails at Captain Bob's, the flashback jumps forward in time to land on Sheriff Monster Chow as he steps into a clearing in the middle of the park. He glances around a bit uneasily for a moment, watched all the while by Zombie Grandpa and Slutty Sam, who have hidden themselves behind some reeds about fifty yards away. At long last, tonight's Special Guest Beast descends from the trees, knocking Sheriff Monster Chow into the dirt before snatching him up again and vanishing just as quickly as she'd appeared.

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