Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 2 USERS: B+
The Hardy Boys Have This Condition

In any event, as the tinny voice of an entertainment news reporter emerges from the blackness following the RAAAWWWR!, another card pops up on the screen to inform us we've arrived in the "Present Day." The camera fades up on This Week's Motel Room as Dreary El Deano enters with a bag of grilled grease to find Darling Sammy perched on the end of one of the beds, staring intently at the room's television screen. "What're you watching?" Dean asks. "Just trying to catch up," Sam replies, hitting the mute button on the remote as he marvels, "So, Mel Gibson really took a turn this past year, huh?" "Or he's possessed," Dean grins, tossing Sam a neatly packaged burrito. "Think about it." Dean announces that he just got off the phone with Bobby regarding last week's episode-ending "Mother Of All" mystery, and as everyone on this show is still too stupid to figure out what it all means, we'll be skipping ahead to the point where Sam's cell phone bleeps. Sam rises to answer, and finds a cryptic text message waiting for him. He flips the cell over to Dean, who takes one look at the screen and realizes, "Coordinates?" "Who they from?" he wonders. Sam hasn't a clue, but a quick, time-skipping hop over to...

...Google does tell him those coordinates are pointing towards Bristol -- where, incidentally, three women have "vanished into thin air" over the past week. Sam'd also tried calling the number from which the cryptic text originated, but no one's answering. "Could be another hunter, looking for backup," Sam guesses. Could also be a massive trap, as Dean oh-so-correctly points out: "You got mysterious coordinates from a mysterious Mister X leading to a mysterious town, and that doesn't throw up red flags to you?" "Dunno," Sam shrugs, "maybe, but that doesn't mean we can just ignore a bunch of missing girls, right?" Dean sways back and forth, rolling his eyes and sucking on the lower of his tantalizing Ducky Lips before deciding to humor his stupid brother like so: "Okay, we'll check it out, but if things get squirrelly, we dump out, okay?" Sam's all, "Yeah! Fine! Absolutely!" so the next thing we know, we're... the Impala, arriving on the outskirts of Bristol. The town's "Welcome" sign features a jolly, pea-green octopus scaling a web-like bit of ship's rigging above the equally cheery slogan "Where Memories Are Made." Oh, show. Oh, clever, clever show. Sam stares at the sign for all of two seconds, gapes, and gets his ginormous self hurled into...

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