Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: C | 1 USERS: A+
The Hardy Boys Camp Out
Before we begin here, I'd like to sign my name with a FLOURISH to the petition that I'm about to circulate that asserts our right as good citizens of the nation Humanity to never be subjected to another Wendigo plot ever again. I am, however, going to grandfather Ravenous in, though that's probably just because Ed Rooney's in it. In period costume.

So, anyway. Blackwater Ridge, Lost Creek, Colorado. Monster's-eye view, growling and creeping around outside two cozy-looking dome tents. Inside the tent, two guys play Game Boys against one another. In the other tent, another guy uses his Treo -- this is one lamely high-tech campout -- to record a video of himself saying, "Hey Hailey, day six, we're still out near Blackwater, we're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, talk to you tomorrow." Back in the other tent, one of the dudes heads out of the tent to take a whizz, sets up near a tree, and starts noticing rustling and mysterious tree-branch swaying, before letting out the expected "ARRRRGHHH!" Cut to his friends in their tents looking concerned and calling out to him. Nintendo Buddy sticks his head out of his tent first and we see him get pulled headfirst into the air, screaming as he goes, total Greg Grunberg style. Treo Geek shits his pants and douses his lamp while something circles his tent and growls and circles and growls. And then circles and growls some more. Until it finally rips through the tent for its tasty morsel. This last kid was wearing an honest-to-God shell necklace, and so I'm sure after his untimely demise was either sent immediately to hell or on a casting call for The Real World TGI Fridays.

Palo Alto. Sam brings a tasteful bouquet to the late Joey Potter's grave. He quickly explains the unusually nice flowers by pretending like he hadn't recently taken a flower arranging course and addressing the grave, "You always said roses were lame, so I, uh, brought you, uh." He focuses in on the glamour shot adorning the headstone, and loses his composure: "Jess. I should have protected you. I should have told you the truth." He kneels to place the flowers on the grave, and a dirty arm shoots out of the grave and grabs onto him. Shit, that fucking got me! As the viewer jumps a bit, we cut to Sam jolting awake in the passenger seat of the Metallicar. Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" plays in the background. Nice. Hot blooded! Chicken of the sea! Gotta fever of a hundred and three!

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